Title: In Amor, Vis Vires; WIP, 3 of 8



Author: Andrea



Rating: PG-13, but eventually NC-17



Category: MSR, S, MT, Scully POV



Disclaimer: Whatever, sue me.



Notes: Thanks to Sybil, Aly, Jewel and Lari for beta reading.

A special thanks to Lari for her medical expertise, as well.



Archiving: I'd be honoured, but I'd also like

to know.



Spoilers: Through season six



Feedback: Yes, please! ardywyn@hotmail.com



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A gentle touch on my shoulder woke me out of a sound sleep. When

I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was the orange glow of the

setting sun through the small bedroom window. We must have been

sleeping for almost four hours.



"Scully?" Mulder sounded calm, but I could hear a tightness in

his voice.



"What's wrong?" I sat up quickly, fearing his pain medication had

worn off.



"Nothing's wrong, I have to go to the bathroom."



The tension that had built so rapidly in my every muscle drained

away quickly at words. "I hope you didn't leave it too long. It

may take a while to get you there." I warned him.



"How long?" He sounded worried.



"I'll try to be quick, but you can't get up too fast or you'll

get dizzy."



"Okay." In the fading light I could see a frown on his face.



"I could get the urinal," I offered.



"No, I'll be fine," he quickly assured me.



"Okay," I had to chuckle. "Let me start by giving your legs a

quick rub -- we need to get your blood moving."



He nodded as I pulled the sheet off him. Starting at his thighs

I gave each leg a short but vigorous rubdown, talking to him as I

went.



"When I'm done I'm going to move you so you are still on your

back, but with your legs hanging over the edge of the bed."



I'd finished with his left leg and had started with right thigh

when I felt him tense up.



"Mulder, I'm going as fast as I can, but I can still get the

urinal if you need it."



"I can wait," he gritted his teeth.



"Okay," I shrugged as I moved on to his calf. After another 30

seconds I was ready to move him. "Let me do the work, Mulder.

Remember how much it hurt when you tried to use your abdominal

muscles?"



"I remember all too well, Scully," he paused for a second. "Is

walking going to hurt?"



"You'll probably only be able to shuffle and you won't be able to

stand up straight, but once you're up it shouldn't be too bad."



He took a deep breath, "Okay, let's do this."



Straddling his chest, I leaned over so I could grab him under

the arms again. Once I had him turned so that his legs were over 

the edge of the bed, I got behind him and then slowly and 

steadily pushed him until he was sitting upright.



"Are you all right?" I asked, still behind him.



"It hurt a lot less than I expected."



"Good."



Keeping one hand on his shoulder and then his arm, I moved off

the bed.



"How is your head?"



"I feel a little woozy," he admitted.



"Just give yourself a minute or two -- take some deep breaths if

you can.



After taking some slow breaths, blinking his eyes a few times and

giving his head a shake, Mulder announced that he was ready.



"Now I'll help you move as close to the edge of the bed as we 

can get you. That way you won't have to bend very much when

you stand up."



With my help he ended up perched on the edge of the mattress.

Then I bent to put my shoulder under his arm and my hand around

his waist.



"Stand on three," I instructed. He counted with me and on three,

with the aid of a grunt, he was on his feet, leaning heavily on 

me.



"Okay?"



"Yup," he was breathing hard.



"Can you wheel your IV stand, or do you want me to?" I thought

it would help him to balance.



"I think I can manage," he nodded.



His first steps were tentative, but soon he was shuffling along

at a respectable pace.



"Sit down to pee," I instructed once we got to the bathroom.



"Yes, ma'am," he rolled his eyes.



It was a tight fit in the tiny bathroom. Mulder and the IV stand

barely fit, never mind me in there trying to help. So I left him

facing the right way and closed the bathroom door.



"Call me if you need any help getting up," I called through the

door.



"Okay," I heard him chuckle.



I took advantage of his being out of the bed to quickly change

the sheets. Luckily the cottage had a washer and dryer. I

couldn't imagine having to haul laundry into the village to do

it. I was putting on the last pillowcase when I heard Mulder

calling me.



"Coming." I hurried to the bathroom.



"Is there a toothbrush I can use?" The door was still shut.



"Yeah, just a second." I ran to the upstairs bathroom and

grabbed the extra toothbrush and the toothpaste. Originally

this cottage must have had a bedroom upstairs as well, but

I assumed the bathroom had been expanded to make it brighter

and allow for the large claw-foot tub it now held. What little

room was left was used mostly for storage. If I'd had time I

wouldn't have minded peeking into the two ancient steamer

trunks I'd seen. There was also some lawn furniture that I

hoped we'd be able to use once the weather was a little warmer

and dryer.



When I got back downstairs the bathroom door was already open and

Mulder was standing at the sink, hanging on with both hands.



"My teeth feel like they're wearing little sweaters," he wrinkled

his nose.



I couldn't stop the laughter from bubbling out of my mouth. "Do

you need help?"



"I think I'll be okay if you'll get the toothbrush ready." He

seemed to be pleased that he'd made me laugh -- a small smile

still evident at the corners of his mouth. "And I could use a

shave." He peered at himself in the mirror.



"You can barely stand," I pointed out as I squeezed some

toothpaste onto his brush.



"I don't like it -- it's itchy." He lifted one hand from the

sink to rub his jaw.



"If you like, I'll give you a shave after you've had something to

eat," I handed him the toothbrush and turned on the cold water.



"That would be great," he smiled broadly at me before he began

on his teeth. He found it somewhat difficult to bend and spit,

but made it through. After I got a glass of water for him, I

rinsed his toothbrush and then helped him back to the bed. I was

please to note that he seemed to be walking with more ease.

Once I had him settled into the bed again he smiled up at me.



"Thank you."



"For taking you to the bathroom?"



"No, for wearing that top. The view took my mind off the pain."



"Mulder!" I felt my cheeks growing hot. "Why didn't you say

something?"



"I said thank you," he pointed out.



"Oh, never mind," I couldn't get really mad at him when he was

still recovering, and despite the fact I knew he was taking

advantage of that, I changed the subject. "Are you ready for

something to eat?"



"Any chance of anything a bit more substantial?" he sounded

hopeful.



"I could break up a few crackers in your broth."



"Wow, something I can really sink my teeth into."



For once I didn't mind his sarcasm; it was yet another sign he

was on the mend.



"Tomorrow you can have some Jell-O, maybe some oatmeal and even

some mashed potatoes," I tried to console him.



"With milk and butter?" His eyes lit up.



"If you like," I couldn't help smiling at his glee.



"And when will the potatoes be just a side dish?"



"The day after tomorrow you could have some pasta with a bit of

meat in the sauce."



"That sounds good," he licked his lips.



"I know you feel hungry, Mulder, but trust me on this. It would

be more trouble than it's worth to eat anything heavy right now."



"A guy has to have his fantasies, Scully," he winked at me.



Still chuckling, I made my way to the kitchen to heat up his

broth. Not wanting to torture Mulder further, I quickly made

myself a sandwich and ate it while I waited for the broth.



After finishing his apple juice and his broth with crackers,

Mulder sighed and patted his belly. "I can't believe that filled

me up."



"Don't worry, you'll be scarfing down pizza in no time," I

assured him.



"I can hardly wait, but now I'd like to get rid of this beard.

It's driving me nuts."



It took me a few minutes to gather up everything I needed to

give him a shave. Doing it over a sink is far easier. I needed

a towel, a washcloth, a basin of hot water, the razor and some

shaving cream. Mulder just smiled at me as I went in and out of

the room, depositing all of the accoutrements. Before I began I

went to bathroom and put a t-shirt on under my pajama top. I

wasn't comfortable with Mulder looking down my shirt and I didn't

want to give him the impression that I was. I had only very

recently realized my feelings for Mulder were deeper than

friendship or partnership, but I was not going to win him over

by flaunting my body. It wasn't the type of behavior I'd ever

indulged in and I wasn't about to resort to it now. 



"So do you have everything you need?" Mulder interrupted my

thoughts.



"Hmm? Oh yeah, I think I have everything."



I started by wetting his beard with the damp face cloth.

Kneeling to the right of him, I spread the shaving cream over

his cheeks, chin and neck. As I smoothed the lather, ensuring I 

had good coverage, I was surprised to find that Mulder still had

his eyes open. 



"Should I let it sit for a while to soften your beard?"



"Nah, it should be fine."



With one finger under his chin, I gently turned his face toward

me and set the razor lightly against his left cheek. I'd never

done this before so I had no idea how much pressure to use.



"You'll have to push a little harder," Mulder read my thoughts.



"I'm afraid I'm going to cut you."



"I have faith in you, Scully," he assured me in a steady voice 

and for a second I thought he wasn't just talking about my skill 

as a barber.



"Don't you doctors get a lot of practice shaving far more 

delicate areas?" he continued, a sly grin evident through the

shaving cream.



"The nurses and orderlies usually do that," I informed him

with a smile. "Does my lack of experience scare you?"



"Hardly, Scully. You have the steadiest hands I've ever seen.

You would have made an excellent surgeon."



"Okay, now you're starting to sound like my father," I laughed.



"I don't for one minute wish you'd gone in that direction.

Then we might never have met. I can't imagine my life without

you." His voice was thick with emotion.



"I can't imagine my life without you either, Mulder." It was 

out of my mouth before I could stop it.



I froze, fearing what Mulder might read into my words.



"I thought you imagined a more normal life all the time."



"I don't know what normal is anymore," I chuckled. I wasn't

about to tell him that he starred in my "normal life" fantasies

all the time. "Your beard should be pretty soft by now. Let's

see just how steady my hand is." I changed the subject.



He stayed very still and I could feel him watching me intently 

as I worked. There was something mesmerizing about drawing the 

razor across his cheek; hearing the rasp of his beard against 

the blades and seeing the fresh clean skin emerge. The basin of

water was on his bedside table so I had to reach across him to 

rinse off the razor. When I returned to his cheek I was 

surprised to feel him put his hand on my knee. I thought maybe 

he was hoping to steady my nerves as I got closer to his 

jugular.



"Am I scaring you yet?" I asked him in a low voice.



"I'm not worried," he gave my knee a squeeze.



I lifted the razor from his jawline momentarily to look at him.

My face was only about a foot away from his, and although his

face was mostly white, all I could see were his eyes.They seemed

to be radiating; like they were brighter than normal. When our

gazes locked, I felt like I wouldn't be able to keep anything

from him. It was almost like he could see what I was thinking.



"I've always trusted you, Scully, right from the beginning. You

never gave me any reason to doubt you, and when I was of sound

mind, I never did."



"I was surprised at how easily you trusted me, Mulder. I thought

you might have been feeding me little tidbits of information to

see what would happen." I began to shave his neck in upward

strokes.



"I had to trust you," Mulder continued when I reached over to

rinse the razor again. "We never would have accomplished

anything if we hadn't trusted each other. And don't think I

didn't notice how thoroughly you trusted me."



"Well, you may be a little flaky," I laughed as I started on

his right cheek. "But you *are* a trustworthy flake."



"Thanks," he laughed when I lifted the razor again.



I was glad we were laughing again. The intensity of his eyes

had caught me off guard. We fell silent again as I finished

shaving his right cheek. Then he lifted up his chin so I

could do the rest of his neck. Then he drew in his top lip so

I could shave between his nose and lip. The last thing I did was

carefully shave his chin and wipe the stray shaving cream off his

face. 



It seemed strange to me that such a simple task could feel

so intimate. Mulder and I had been through a lot together, but

I don't remember ever feeling this close to him. It was almost

as though we were tethered together and as I backed away I felt

the bond snap. The air around me felt cooler and an energy I 

hadn't been aware of suddenly dissipated. If Mulder felt it too,

he made no mention.



"How's that?"



"It feels great. See, I knew you'd have no problem." he grinned.

"Even in the state I'm in, there is something very decadent 

about having someone else give you a shave. I really enjoyed 

that," he waggled his eyebrows at me. Unfortunately I have to go 

to the bathroom again," he sighed. "And it seems like I just 

went." 



"Time to stop the IV fluids," I informed him. "But I'm going

to leave the port in so I can give you your antibiotics that

way. The Demerol you'll still have to take in the ass."



"That's okay. After all these years with the Bureau I'm used

to taking things in the ass," he smirked.



While we were talking I'd disconnected the IV lines and in no

time I had him sitting at the edge of the bed. It seemed much

easier than the first time. He must have been helping me a

little, probably without even knowing it.



Once he was in the bathroom I began to think about how he'd

looked at me while I was shaving him. I'd never seen him look

at anyone that way before, never mind me. I couldn't stop

myself from hoping that maybe he was starting to have some

deeper feelings for me. I would have to make sure his feelings

were genuine and not the result of my caring for him. It was a

trap many doctors and nurses fell into. But I was jumping the

gun, all he had done was look at me a little strangely. That

was a long way from an admission of undying love.



"Hey!" Mulder's voice startled me out of my thoughts. He was

standing in the doorway to the bedroom smiling. "You didn't hear

me call you -- you were a million miles away. What were you

thinking about?"



While I'd been thinking, I'd wandered back to the bedroom, and

I'd been staring out of the window into the night, not seeing

anything.



"I'm sorry," I hurried over to him. "Are you okay?"



"Yes and no. I feel stronger, but the pain has come back."



"You're using your muscles more," I nodded. "But you went longer

in between shots."



"Is that good?" his voice was strained.



"A good sign," I nodded again. "Let me give you the shot before

you get back into bed. That way you won't have to roll over."



"Okay."



I gave him the injection quickly and then helped him back into

the bed.



"Breathe in through you nose and out through your mouth and try

to relax," I instructed as I brushed some wayward hair off his

forehead.



I straightened up and watched as he breathed.



"Don't stop, Scully."



"Don't stop what?" I was confused.



"With my hair."



"Okay," I smiled. Then putting one knee on the bed, I slowly

combed his hair with my fingers. "Does it help to distract you

from the pain?"



"Mmm," he nodded.



"I'm sorry I didn't hear you and come to help." It made me

nauseous to think I'd caused this pain.



"I was hurting before I got up, but I was more concerned with

getting to the bathroom at the time," he confessed.



"Mulder!" I protested "It would have taken me two seconds to give

you that shot before you went to the bathroom. The Demerol could

have been working by now."



"I didn't think of that, but what you're doing with my hair is

helping."



"You are your own worst enemy, Mulder," I shook my head.



He didn't respond, he kept his eyes closed and continued to

breathe slowly and steadily. Ten minutes later I was still

stroking his hair and my back was starting to ache from the

position I was in.



"Hasn't the Demerol started to work yet?" I was getting

concerned.



"Oh yeah, a while ago. I was enjoying what you were doing."



"Mulder!" I pushed his head into the pillow. "How long would you

have let me keep going?" I straightened up and stretched my back.



"Umm...." He smiled up at me unabashedly.



"You are incorrigible, Mulder."



He said nothing, he just kept grinning at me.



I plunked myself down in the wing-back chair, still shaking my

head.



"What did you tell Skinner?" Mulder asked out of the blue.



"I didn't tell him anything."



"Nothing?"



"Nope, and I told the guys not to tell him where we were -- just

to say we were safe if they were asked."



"Have you talked to them since we got here?"



"Didn't want to risk it," I shook my head.



"You really think they want me out of the picture that badly?" He

looked at me doubtfully.



"I saw them outside of your room, Mulder. Do you think they

stopped by to bring you flowers?"



"I had no idea when I took this case -- it never occurred to me

the big boys would be involved."



"I thought she was suffering from some form of post-partum

psychosis, or that she'd killed the baby herself."



"You thought she'd killed her own child?" Mulder looked shocked.



"Unfortunately, its far from unheard of," I reminded him. "And

her story seemed so far-fetched."



"Being hired to carry a child?"



"That, actually, didn't surprise me. It was her description of

the baby."



"I didn't think it was unheard of for babies to be born covered in

hair."



"It isn't, it's called hypertrechosis lanuginosa, but she said 

fur. Human babies aren't normally born with fur."



"So you thought she was nuts?" Mulder sounded a little

disappointed.



"Well she did say she came out of the anesthetic early, so who

knows what she really saw? She told us what she *thought* she

saw. Those drugs can play tricks on your mind."



I'd put my feet up on the mattress and Mulder was absently

playing with the cuff of my pajama bottoms while we talked.



"I wondered about that too," Mulder admitted. "But if that's all

it was, why would someone be trying to kill me?"



"I know. That made me rethink this case."



"And?"



"Well, they know how to gene splice."



"Between humans and aliens," Mulder specified.



"I don't think it would matter. If you mastered gene splicing at

that level, it would merely take some fine tuning to create a

different kind of hybrid."



Mulder's eyes grew wide as I spoke. "A different kind of hybrid

-- you mean human and something else? But why, because they could?"

"I don't know, Mulder. If you knew an invasion was imminent and

you knew your enemies as well as these men do, what would you be

doing?"



"They screwed up joining them, so now they have to beat them. Is

that what you're getting at?"



I saw the recognition in his eyes and nodded.



"So you think they are creating a different kind of hybrid as a

kind of weapon?"



"Sounds bizarre, I know, but if what Michelle Heath said was

true..."



"No, it makes sense. Pay women huge sums of money to gestate

these hybrids. Michelle thought she was carrying a baby for

some wealthy person who wanted to remain anonymous. The cash was

supposed to keep her quiet. They told her they had to put her

under because the parents wanted to witness the birth. Then she

came out of the anesthetic early and saw what they'd created. At

least she had the sense to keep her mouth shut. Otherwise, I doubt

she would have lived to tell." Mulder shook his head and silently

chewed his lip for a minute. "You know, this sounds like something 

you might read about in a comic book. I never thought I'd be

investigating a case like this, but our old friends never cease 

to amaze me."



"It's only a theory, Mulder. I've had plenty of time to think

since we got here."



"How long until we can go home to check out your theory, Scully?"



"You shouldn't do anything strenuous for at least another five

weeks. Then you can start getting into shape again. So it'll be

a while."



Mulder started to say something but apparently thought better of

it and shut his mouth again.



"I know it seems like a long time, Mulder, but that might work to

our advantage. Maybe they'll think we've given up. Besides, there

isn't a huge rush. It takes nine months to gestate a baby and I'm

assuming they'll be trying again."



"Oh, I'd put money on that, but wouldn't the gestation period

depend on what the humans were combined with?"



"I think they would be trying to keep them mostly human, but

trying to boost their strength and endurance or something like

that."



Mulder nodded and seemed to be lost in thought for a minute.



"There's one thing about your theory I don't understand, Scully."



"What's that?"



"Why aren't they working with adults, like they did with

Cassandra Spender?"



"I guess it's easier to create an army that is willing to do

your bidding when you've had their whole lives to prepare them

for it. I doubt Cassandra Spender would've made a good soldier."



"I don't know, Scully, she seemed pretty tough to me," he

chuckled.



The fire had burned low while we were talking, so I got up to

bank it for the night.



"I need to go to bathroom again, Scully," Mulder informed me

apologetically.



"No problem. I'll give you another dose of antibiotics first, and

then I think we should call it a night."



In no time I had Mulder back in bed. We were getting faster and

faster. Tomorrow he would probably only need my help to get in

and out of the bed. After I had my turn in the bathroom I asked

him about his pain.



"There was barely even a twinge," he assured me.



"Wake me up if you start to hurt or if you need to use the

bathroom again."



"I will," he promised sleepily.



Even though I'd had a nap, my body hadn't recovered from all of

my lost sleep. I was almost dead on my feet. It wasn't long after

I crawled into bed beside Mulder that I fell into a deep sleep.

end chapter 3

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