Author: Andrea

Title: Baggage

Rating NC-17

Category: MSR, vignette

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but this vision of
them is definitely mine.

Spoilers: Anything thru season six is fair game.

Notes: Thank you to Falconer, Aly and Dan for advice, support,
and red pens.

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Scully had been uncharacteristically quiet all day. Mulder could 
tell that something was wrong, but for the life of him he couldn't
figure out what it was. Usually it was him that irked her, but not
today. She answered him pleasantly whenever he asked her something. 
But she never started any conversations. She didn't ask him any 
questions. She didn't even raise an eyebrow when he suggested that 
Bill Gates was an alien imposter who was successfully creating a 
planet of mind-numbed computer geeks who wouldn't notice when his
buddies showed up to colonize.

He was afraid to ask her how she was. He was afraid of her 
patented response. He knew she wasn't *fine*. He wondered why she
wouldn't tell him. Finally, late in the afternoon, he couldn't
stand it anymore.

"Are you okay, Scully? You've been really quiet all day."

He had prepared his counter for the answer he was expecting. He 
would tell her to be honest, that she could trust him, that he
needed to know how she was *really* feeling. Her answer nearly
knocked him over backwards.

"I'm miserable, Mulder."

Before Mulder knew what he was doing, he had crossed the office and
swept her into his arms and hugged her tenderly.

"What is it? What's the matter? Please tell me," he said softly, 
kissing the top of her head.

He felt her chuckle into his shoulder. He took her by the shoulders
and moved her back slightly so he could see her face. She was 
smiling and her eyes were twinkling.

"You could have asked for a hug if that is all you needed to feel 
better," he informed her.

"Your hugs always make me feel better, Mulder. I'm sorry. There's 
nothing desperately wrong. I'm not sick. My family is well. You're
here. This is something, well, I dunno, different."

"You can't talk to me about it?"

"This kind of thing is usually reserved for your best friend." Her 
voice was muffled. She had returned to the shelter of his arms.

"I thought I was your best friend," he said quietly.

"Best girlfriend," she qualified her answer.

"Ah," he nodded. "I thought your mom was your best girlfriend?"

"She is." She moved her arms from his back and let them settle
around his waist. "She is also the cause of the problem."

"Your mother! I find that hard to believe," he laughed.

"She set me up, Mulder."

It took a moment for him to process this. "And this is a problem?"

She laughed. "Well, aside from the fact that it's incredibly 
pathetic to have one's mother set you up at my age, I don't want to date 
someone who is still available at my age."

"We're both available, Scully," he pointed out.

"Precisely, Mulder. Who would want to date either of us, with all 
of the baggage that we're toting around?"

"Have you met this guy?"

She nodded.

"Does he have baggage?"

"He's a widower."

Mulder groaned.

"Cancer, Mulder." She took a shaky breath. "What could my mother
possibly have been thinking? She didn't tell me until I had 
already agreed to have dinner with him. How will I be able to 
tell him that I don't want to see him again without feeling like 
a total shit?"

"What makes you think that you won't want to see him again?"

She was quiet for a minute.

"I have enough trouble carting around my own baggage, Mulder. I  
can't be responsible for someone else's too. That's what the 
problem is.  If I am going to become involved with someone, I will 
probably need them to be *my* crutch. No one who is available at 
our age is baggage-free."

"So? You're saying that you and I are destined to be alone
for the rest of our lives?"

"Well, I can't speak for you, Mulder, but I can't imagine meeting
anyone now that I would consider having a relationship with. You
know what they say; married or gay."

He noticed that she didn't seem to be uncomfortable with the fact
that they were still embracing.

"And the rest are losers like me?"

She sighed. "Do you really need me to stroke you, Mulder? You are
*not* a loser. How many times are we going to go over this?"

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"S'okay."

"You didn't answer my question, Scully."

"I'm sorry, Mulder. What was your question?"

"You and I are destined to spend the rest of our lives alone?"

"I guess in terms of a sexual relationship, I am, but I don't 
really consider myself alone. I have you and my family."

"The thought of not having a sexual relationship for the rest of 
your life doesn't bother you?" He was shocked. 

She sighed again, heavily this time.

"I've made it through the last seven years, Mulder. I'm beginning
to forget what it's like to have a man..." her voice trailed off.

"What about Ed Jerse?" The question was out before he could stop
himself. 

"I didn't have sex with him, Mulder."

"I thought..."

Scully shook her head gently against his chest.

"Why not?" He couldn't believe he was asking these questions or
that she seemed to be answering them.

"It would have been for all the wrong reasons. I was acting like 
a rebellious teenager, Mulder. I am way beyond having sex with
someone to prove that I can. If I wanted to have sex with just
anyone, I'd be having sex every night of the week."

Mulder sighed and nodded.

"You could have sex with anyone you wanted, Scully. You are very
beautiful and very, very sexy."

"Thanks, Mulder, but I don't need you to stroke my ego. I know
men find me attractive and sometimes I wish I was the type of
woman who could sleep with just anyone, but I'm not."

"I wasn't stroking you, Scully. I see the guys with their tongues
hanging out too, you know. I was speaking for myself."

"Thank you, Mulder," she laughed. "You're not so bad yourself."

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head again.

"Unfortunately, Mulder, our mutual admiration society doesn't
solve my problem."

"Right," he ran through their conversation in his mind. "What was
your problem again?"

"So much for your eidetic memory, Mulder."

"Well, we seemed to have covered a few problems," he defended 
himself.

"My immediate problem is how do I tell this guy that I don't want
to see him again."

"Tell him you're already involved."

"He won't believe that. Why would I have agreed to go out with him
if I was already involved with someone?"

"Tell him that you're involved with me, but your mom doesn't know.
No one knows. We're trying to be discreet. We don't want anyone to
question our ability to work together as partners."

She was quiet for a minute.

"He'd probably believe that," she agreed. "I just don't think I 
could lie to him."

"So don't."

"You lost me, Mulder."

He took her face in his hands and turned it towards his.

"Does it have to be a lie? You've already said it. No one else
would want us with all of our baggage. But your baggage is
basically my baggage. We already share the load. I want us to share
more than that, Scully. I don't want you to sleep with just anyone,
either. I want you to sleep with me."

He smiled as he actually watched her processing this. She opened 
her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He bent his head
towards hers. She didn't move away. She didn't flinch. He felt her
body inching up his as she stood on her toes. When their lips met
Mulder couldn't hold himself back any longer. He couldn't think. 
All he could do was feel.

He could feel her soft lips part as his tongue caressed them. He 
felt her tongue swirl over his. He slid her jacket off her 
shoulders and let it fall to the floor. She moaned softly when
his hand closed over her breast. He put his other arm around her 
waist and lifted her up. 

"Skirt," she said into his mouth.

He pulled her skirt up, so that it bunched around her waist. He was
thrilled to discover that she was wearing thigh-highs. She wrapped 
her legs around him. He hadn't realized that they were moving until
they hit the wall. 

He wasn't sure who had removed his pants and boxers, but they 
were around his ankles. Scully still had her panties on, but he 
wasn't about to let that stop him. He reached between her legs 
and pushed the thin piece of material aside. She gasped at the 
contact. He ran his thumb through the curls between her legs to 
judge her readiness. He groaned when he discovered how slick 
she was.

She pulled out of kiss, breathing hard. He thought for
a second that she was going to protest until he opened his eyes 
to look at her. She was watching him intently. Her full lips were
parted and her pupils were dilated. He must have looked unsure,
because she smiled softly and nodded her head.

He put both hands on her ass and slowly lowered her onto his cock. 
They both moaned. As soon as he felt how tight and hot she was he
knew he wasn't going to last long. He tried to put his hand between
them so that he could stimulate her clit.

"No, Mulder. Good angle," she panted.

"Wha..." he couldn't process what she was saying.

"This angle will work, I won't need help."

"I don't want to leave you hanging," he told her.

"God, Mulder, you won't, I promise. I'm almost there just having 
you inside of me."

"God, Scully," he groaned as he began to thrust into her.

Her hands were on his shoulders and her back was against the wall.
The feeling of being inside of her was overwhelming and he hoped
that she was truly almost there, because he was almost there
himself. He started to speak with each stroke. He didn't know what
he was saying but he felt her muscles tighten around his cock. 
Her body grew taut and then she started to shake. Her orgasm 
pulled him over the edge as well.

When Mulder began to return to his senses he found that they were 
still up against the wall of the office. Scully's skirt was still
bunched around her waist and his pants were around his ankles.
Her breathing was just as laboured as his.

"We should get our clothes back on," she said quietly.

He set her down gently and pulled up his boxers and pants.

"What's wrong, Mulder? Maybe it's just me, but I thought we just 
made mad, passionate love in the office and you look like someone 
just shot your dog."

"It was the way you said that we should get our clothes back on-
like we'd made a mistake."

"Well, I think that fucking up against the wall of the office was
a mistake, Mulder. What if someone had come in? That's what I 
meant. I don't think making love to you was a mistake, just when
and where."

They straightened their clothes as she spoke.

"I'm sorry, Scully. I couldn't control myself."

"It takes two to tango, Mulder. I couldn't control myself either."

"I love you so much, Scully," he sighed as he pulled her back into
his arms.

"Mmmm, so you said." She snuggled against him.

"When?"

"When we were making love. You said you loved me. There were a 
few superlatives thrown in for good measure, too," she laughed.

"I hope I didn't say something I shouldn't have," he worried.

"I usually take declarations made at the height of passion with
a grain of salt, Mulder," she assured him.

"I really do love you," he told her sincerely.

"I know, Mulder, I know." 

They embraced a few more seconds before she pulled away.

"We need to set some ground rules, Mulder."

"Such as?"

"Well, just one, I guess. This can never happen again. Absolutely
no contact at work. Okay?"

He nodded. "Once we kissed, Scully, I couldn't control myself. So
you are probably right. No physical contact at work."

She nodded, smiling.

"Any more ground rules?" he asked.

"Not from me. Do you have any?"

"Just one."

"What's that?" she raised an eyebrow.

"You can't say you're fine when you're not. Okay?"

"I'll try, Mulder. It's a habit. Just call me on it, Okay?"

"Okay," he smiled. "Well, Scully, whenever you need me to solve 
any more of your problems, don't hesitate to ask. I'll be more 
than happy to help."

"I like the way you solve problems, Mulder," she chuckled.

"So, when is your big date?"

"Tonight."

"Okay. You go and have dinner with this guy and tell him that 
you've already got more man than you know how to handle."

"I already told you that I don't feel comfortable lying to him, 
Mulder," she grinned and ducked out of the way as he tried to
grab her. "No physical contact at work, remember?" she laughed
as she snatched her coat and purse. She stopped at the door and
turned around. "I'll see you later, right?" she asked.

"I'll wait at your place, and I'm going to make you pay for that 
remark."

"Ooo, I'll be looking forward to that," she grinned as she headed 
out of the office.


end

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