There's A Way
Chapter 5
When Jordan woke up from his nap I didn't mention the incident from school. I thought we'd been over it enough. I wasn't even planning to tell Mulder until Jordan was in bed for the night, unless Jordan brought it up himself.
We were in the living room playing with Jordan's zoo set waiting for Mulder. I was trying to keep Megan occupied with a shape sorting toy she usually loved to play with, but she was far more interested in the zebra figures that Jordan had living with his lions. When she crawled over, plucked one out the enclosure and began to chew on it Jordan snatched it away from her.
"If you want to play, play! Don't eat the animals."
"Jordan," I was trying not to laugh, "You know Megan can't play your game. She just likes the animals."
"She's ruining it," he whined. "She has her own toys, why does she have to play with mine?"
"Jordan," I cautioned him with my voice.
"Why do I have to share here, too? It's not fair that Megan is allowed to ruin my game just because she's a baby." He was standing with his hands on his hips.
I was trying to come up with a better answer than 'because I said so' when Megan began to clap her hands.
"Da, Da, Da," she cried gleefully, blissfully ignorant of the struggle I was having with her big brother.
"Daddy's home!" Jordan's face lit up and he ran toward the door.
I, too, was happy that Mulder was home. Maybe he would be able to reason with Jordan. I had picked up Megan and was walking to the foyer when I heard Jordan shout with joy.
"A puppy!"
I couldn't believe my ears. Surely Mulder wouldn't have brought a dog home without asking me, especially not today. When I got to the archway I discovered I was wrong. I couldn't believe my eyes, Mulder was standing just inside the door holding a puppy; a very large puppy.
"Is that a ...?"
"It's an Irish Wolfhound," Mulder grinned, obviously pleased with himself.
"They're huge," I stared at him in disbelief.
"You didn't want some tiny thing like Queequeg, did you?"
"We'll talk about it later," I sighed.
"Why not talk about it now?" he looked puzzled.
"Because what I have to say should be said in private," I glanced toward Jordan.
"Okay," Mulder said hesitantly. It was clear he didn't have the slightest clue as to why I might be upset.
"Can I play with him? Is it a him?" Jordan asked excitedly.
"Yes and yes," Mulder chuckled. "Here you go," he set the puppy down.
The dog immediately trotted into the living room, with his nose to the floor.
"Mulder, I think the dog needs to --" I stopped as the dog squatted. "No!" I said loudly and sharply, making Megan start to cry. "Here," I handed her to Mulder and went after the dog. He had moved on from his original choice on the carpet and was sniffing out an alternative. "No!" I repeated loudly when he began to assume the position again. Scooping him up, I headed toward the back door.
"I'll clean that up," Mulder nodded toward the dark spot on the carpet. The dog had managed to pee a little before I scared him off.
I didn't even acknowledge that he'd spoken, because if I had all I would have said is, "Damn right you will."
As soon as I put the dog down in the yard, he squatted to pee. When he was done he began to explore the yard. He was sniffing the grass by the back fence when Mulder joined me, Megan still in his arms.
"Sorry about that, Scully. I should've brought him straight outside," he slid his arm around my waist and gave me a squeeze.
I saw surprise register on his face when I looked up him, not smiling.
"What's wrong?"
"I said we would talk about it later," I replied tersely.
Before he could say anything else, Jordan came running outside.
"Where's the puppy?"
"Over there," I pointed him in the right direction. "Where's the rest of the stuff?" I turned to Mulder once Jordan had dashed off.
"What stuff?"
"The kennel, the dish, the dog food, the brush, the collar, the leash, the pooper scooper," I nodded toward the puppy who was squatting again.
"Kennel?"
"How do you plan to train the dog, Mulder?"
"What does a kennel have to do with training?"
"How many dogs have you trained?"
"Umm..."
"So I'm going to be training the dog? Well, me and my mother. Once I go back to work, she'll have to deal with the puppy in the morning. It was very thoughtful of you to take that into consideration," I informed him tartly.
"Scully, I --" Mulder began.
"I said we'd talk about it later," I cut him off.
"Yes, but you --"
"I think you need to go and do some shopping," I interrupted him again.
"Fine," he sounded angry now too. "I'll take Jordan and Megan with me."
"And I'll watch the dog."
"Hey Jordan," Mulder called to him. "Do you want to come with me while I buy some stuff for the puppy?"
"Sure," he ran back toward us. "Are you coming, too, Mommy?"
"No, someone has to stay with the dog."
"Oh," he looked at me and then at Mulder. I guess he could tell that I was angry.
"Let's go," Mulder guided him in the direction of the gate that led to the front yard.
"Is mommy mad?"
"Yes."
"Because of the puppy?"
"Your guess is as good as mine," Mulder shrugged.
Pressing my lips together, I refrained from saying what I was thinking. I still couldn't believe that Mulder would do something like this without asking me first. Leaving the dog in the yard, I went into the house to get the baby gate that I'd seen in the basement. When I had it set up, blocking the kitchen off from the rest of the house, I brought the puppy inside. He was still very young, but not all that small. I shuddered when I looked at the size of his paws. This dog was going to be huge.
Trusting that he would be fine for a few minutes, I started to get supper ready.
"What are we going to call you?"
From his position against my leg, he cocked his head at me.
"We can't call you puppy forever."
Kneeling down, I gave him a little scratch behind his ear. Leaning into the contact he tilted his head to give me better access.
"Don't tell anyone," I whispered, "but I'm thrilled to have a dog again. This just happened to be the worst possible day."
He just yawned and began to pant.
"Are you thirsty?"
When I moved to get a bowl from the cupboard, he moved with me, like he was a burr. After filling the bowl with water, I put it he came bounding back to lean against my leg. Misjudging how much room he'd need to stop, he ended up crashing into me, almost knocking me over. It was going to be a long night.
Even with the dog glued to me, I managed to have supper ready when Mulder and the kids got home.
"It'll take me a few trips to bring everything in," Mulder told me as he handed Megan to me over the baby gate.
"Start with the kennel, the rest you can bring in after supper."
"Okay," he smiled a little tentatively.
"Jordan, you go and wash your hands. I'm going to take the dog outside again. Once we have the crate together we can take the gate down. But until he's trained, he's only allowed outside, in the kitchen or in his crate."
So with Megan in one arm, I picked the puppy up and took him outside. When Mulder called me to tell me the kennel was together, the puppy still hadn't gone for a pee.
"The crate is huge," Mulder warned when he opened the door for me and reached for Megan. "But they assured me this was the size I should get."
"It is," I nodded. "It has to fit him when he's full grown."
After I'd secured the puppy in his kennel, I washed my hands and we sat down to eat. I tried to be civil to Mulder during the meal, but from the way he kept glancing at me, I could tell he knew I was still angry. Jordan, thankfully, was oblivious. I didn't want to drag him into this.
When we were finished eating, I asked Mulder to get the dog some food while I took him outside again. Jordan tagged along, eager to be wherever the puppy was. I'm sure he'd totally forgotten that it was almost time for Rugrats or that he wasn't allowed to watch them for a week.
This time when the dog squatted and peed, I praised him and patted him on the head.
"Does this mean you aren't mad at the puppy anymore?" Jordan looked up at me hopefully.
"I was never mad at the puppy, Jordan," I began, "And I don't want you to worry about things like that, okay?"
"Okay," he shrugged, apparently more interested in the puppy than my mood. "I thought boy dogs lifted their legs to pee."
"They do," I smiled. "But he's still too young to balance on three legs."
"Oh," he was watching as the puppy trotted through the yard. "Can I play with him now?"
"Well, I think he needs to have something to eat first. After that you should have a few minutes to play with him before bed."
"Soup's on," Mulder called from the kitchen door.
Once the puppy had scarfed down his food, I took him back outside for about half an hour. Megan watched while Jordan and the dog played with a squeaky ball they'd bought. She'd squirm and wiggle when they were on the other side of the yard like she wanted to get down, but as soon as they got close to us, she'd hide her face against my shoulder.
"Is she afraid of the dog?" Mulder asked as he watched her performance.
"I think she can't decide. She's excited and scared, but I'm sure she'll be fine."
At eight o'clock we trouped back inside. Jordan kissed the dog goodnight and chortled when the dog kissed him back. I couldn't help smiling at how thrilled Jordan was. I caught Mulder looking at me with his eyebrows raised in an almost 'I told you so' way making me instantly angry again. He must have recognized the change in my expression because his eyes grew wide in surprise.
Once we'd settled both kids into bed we met in the living room, as had become our habit.
"So are you finally going to explain why you're so pissed?" Mulder confronted me as soon as I walked into the room.
"I don't even know where to begin," I shook my head.
"You're right, I didn't even think about your mother. Is that why you're mad?"
"That's a small part of it."
"Look, Scully, can we stop the guessing games? If you're angry about something, tell me."
"I guess I'll have to," I snorted. "Because you obviously have no clue."
"No, I don't," his voice was tight.
"Why don't you start by asking me how my day was?"
"I thought the morning went fairly well," he lowered his voice.
"It did, but it was all downhill from there."
"What happened?" he almost sounded concerned.
"That's something you should have asked me before bringing a dog home," my tone was harsh.
"God damn it, Scully, I can't discuss this when I don't even know what we're talking about."
"I just told you," I informed him, thinking he'd understand, but the look on his face told me he still hadn't joined the party. "How could you even consider doing something this big without consulting me first?"
"What are you talking about? Months ago we agreed that after the court decision became final we'd get a dog." He was standing with his hands on his hips.
"We agreed in principle. We didn't agree that you would show up with a dog whenever the mood struck you. This was the worst possible time," I sighed.
"Oh, come on, Scully, you know there would never be a perfect time. How long were you planning to put it off?" his tone was dripping with disdain.
"At least until we'd solved Jordan's discipline problem," I narrowed my eyes.
"What discipline problem?" he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"If you'd had the common courtesy to call and ask me before you brought the dog home, I would have told you."
"Jesus Christ, Scully, would you cut to the fucking chase!"
As I was drawing a breath to answer him, a sound behind me made me wheel around. To my horror, Jordan was standing on the stairs, about a third of the way down, eyes wide with fear.
"Shit," Mulder whispered.
Without even having to look at each other, Mulder and I both headed toward the stairs.
"C'mon Jordan, you're supposed to be in bed," Mulder's tone was gentle.
"Why were you yelling at each other?" he looked up at us, worry still evident on his face.
I cringed at his words. I'd been so angry I hadn't realized that we'd been raising our voices.
"Your mom was just explaining a mistake I made," Mulder told him with a straight face.
"So you *are* mad at the puppy?" he looked back to me.
"No, Jordan, I'm not. I like the puppy. He's very cute. A little large, but cute," I assured him as he crawled back into his bed.
"Did something happen today that I don't know about, Jordan?" Mulder asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"Are you going to take the puppy back?" Jordan's lip began to tremble.
"No Jordan, the puppy can stay, but I think you need to tell your dad what happened today," I told him gently.
"Everything?"
"I'm afraid so."
In a quiet voice, with his eyes lowered, Jordan began to explain to Mulder what had happened at school. When he was finished he looked to me for approval.
"What about what happened with your sister this afternoon?"
Heaving a sigh, shoulders sagging, he told Mulder about the zoo toy incident.
"And what was your punishment?" Mulder inquired.
"I'm not allowed to watch Rugrats for a week."
"I see," Mulder nodded thoughtfully. "And you didn't care that you missed it tonight, did you?"
"No," he admitted in a small voice.
"Well I'm not very happy about your behavior, Jordan. When I brought the puppy home, I trusted that you'd been a good boy."
"I'm sorry," tears began to fill his eyes.
"Big boys don't fight about toys, especially with their baby sister," Mulder continued. "I had a little sister too, Jordan. I know they can be a pain sometimes; they never want to play the same games you do. But I thought you were a big boy now. Big boys know how to get along with their baby sisters and only big boys can help take care of puppies. Was I wrong to think that you were a big boy?"
"No," Jordan shook his head vigorously.
"Well, I trusted you before, but now you have to prove it to me. If I hear that you have been squabbling about toys, you won't be allowed to help with the puppy. Do you understand?"
"I'll be good, I promise," he was very solemn.
"Okay, you go to sleep now, Jordan," I smiled at him.
Both Mulder and I gave him a hug and a kiss before we moved toward the door.
"What are we going to call the puppy?" Jordan asked as Mulder and I were about to leave the room.
"I'm still thinking about it. I have a couple of ideas, but we can talk about it tomorrow," Mulder smiled. "Goodnight Jordan."
"Night," Jordan sighed and snuggled under his covers.
Not a word was spoken between us until we were back in the living room.
"I'm sorry," Mulder tried to pull me into his arms, but I held back. I thought we had more to talk about, but the look of sorrow in his eyes almost made me give in. "You're right, I should have called. But..."
"What?" I put my hands on my hips, immediately irritated again.
"You should have told me as soon as I got home."
"I didn't want to fight in front of the kids," I defended my decision.
"So all of that tension and the yelling that got Jordan out of bed was better somehow?"
"I guess not," I lowered my eyes.
"If you didn't want to say anything in front of Jordan you could have sent him to his room for five minutes."
"You're right, I'm sorry," I hung my head.
"Can we establish some ground rules then?" he took a step closer to me.
"Okay."
"I'll always check with you before I do anything like this."
"Right," I nodded.
"And you will tell me right away when I've screwed up."
"Mmm hmm," I agreed.
"And you won't pull any more of that guessing game shit."
Once again I pulled back a bit to look at him, my eyes wide.
"I'm sorry that I'm not a mind reader, Scully, but if I say I don't know why you're mad, I don't know. Will you please just come out and tell me in the future? This wasn't the first time I screwed up and it won't be the last, but I'd rather deal with it right away then have to go through another evening like tonight."
"I really was just trying not to fight in front of the kids," I drew a long breath.
"I know, and by the way, I promise to let you know if you screw up again, too," he smiled softly.
"Thanks," I had to laugh.
When he reached for me again, I let myself collapse into his arms. Relief washed over me as his arms wrapped around me. I hated fighting with him; I always have. I've never been good at confrontation. I've never been secure enough in any other relationship to stand up for myself. Even though I knew our relationship was strong enough to handle this conflict, the argument had made me queasy.
"I hate this, Mulder. I don't like the way it makes me feel."
"God, Scully, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach," he tightened his grip on me. "I know this won't be our last disagreement, but let's try to talk about it before it gets to this stage again. Okay?"
"I won't," I snuggled against his chest.
We stayed like that for several minutes; not moving, simply holding each other, until Mulder finally broke the silence.
"I guess I messed up Jordan's punishment."
"Well, he did seem to be upset that you were disappointed with him, so it'll probably all work out. I just don't want to be seen as the bad guy," I explained my concern. "You completely undermined my authority with him."
"I'll talk to him in the morning and tell him that I totally agree with the punishment you gave him. Okay?"
"Okay," I sighed again. I wanted this fight to be over. I didn't like the feeling it gave me in the pit of my stomach. In my heart I knew that Mulder was used to being independent and having to check with me about anything would not come easily to him. I was positive that this was an issue that would come up again, but I could deal with each issue as it arose. I just wanted to make Mulder aware of the significance of ruining the punishment I'd given to Jordan.
"Does this mean we can kiss and make up now?" Mulder's fingers were under my chin, tilting my face toward his.
"Please," I smiled up at him.
At the first touch of his lips against mine, I opened my mouth to him. Sliding up his body, I tried to make myself as tall as I could. I was feeling like I couldn't kiss him deeply enough. His fingers were woven into my hair, holding my face still while he plundered my mouth.
I had the vague sensation that we were moving, but my mind was concerning itself more with the erection that was pressing into me. Ignoring the loud thump when we hit the wall, I ground my hips against him, silently reveling in the groan I'd elicited.
When I felt Mulder's hands slipping under my shirt, I couldn't help moaning into his mouth. Suddenly his knee was in between my legs; forcing them apart, creating a wave of heat in my belly. I was faintly aware that I'd been tugging his shirt out of his pants and I'd begun clawing weakly at his back. The way I shuddered when he pushed my bra off my breasts without undoing it brought a modicum of sense back into my head.
"Upstairs," I managed to say into his mouth.
"Mmm," he backed up fractionally and then bent to pick me up. "If we aren't careful we're really going to screw up that boy."
"He may not even be back to sleep yet and I think once in a lifetime is more than enough for anyone to see their parents having sex," I chuckled, somewhat breathlessly.
"Yes, but we'll have to be all smoochy for him tomorrow, just to reassure him," Mulder pointed out as he carried me up the stairs.
"No other reason?" I grinned.
"Well, maybe one other," his eyes were growing dark.
He set me down just inside our door and turned to lock it. When he turned to face me again, I was unbuttoning my shirt. He put his hand on mine to stop me.
"What?" I thought I had a good grasp on our plan.
"I know we started on the path toward some hot and sweaty make-up sex, but I was wondering..." The way he was looking at me was making my heart flutter.
"What were you wondering?" I was as breathless as I'd been downstairs.
"You know what we talked about in the parking garage, that shower fantasy of mine?"
"Yeah," my stomach began to tingle as I realized what he was asking.
"Would it be okay if we did that tonight?" his eyes were burning into me. "I was thinking about it all day."
"What do you want me to do?" My already damp panties grew wetter.
"Go and get undressed in the bathroom. Leave the shower door open so I can see you in the mirror. I fantasized about catching you in the shower so many times when we were on the road," his breathing had become altered.
Following his instructions, in no time at all, my head was under the shower. I only gave my hair a cursory shampooing; it wasn't my hair that Mulder wanted to see me wash. When I opened my eyes again, I could see him watching me in the mirror. Pretending I hadn't, I reached for shower gel and my puff. Once I was suitably lathered I began to use my hands instead of the ball of netting.
Letting my hands linger on my breasts, I peeked to see what Mulder was doing. When I saw him stroking the prominent bulge in his pants, my stomach flip-flopped. Without realizing what I'd been doing, the sight of him had made me begin to squeeze my breasts and tug on my nipples. Over the rush of the water, I heard him groan.
Leaving one hand on my breast, I let the other skim slowly over my stomach. With my eyes closed, I began to slide my fingers between my thighs. Before I touched it, I could feel my clit throbbing. There was something about fulfilling Mulder's fantasies that had a powerful effect on me. Maybe it was that he spent time thinking about me at work. How he managed to get any work done was beyond me. Maybe it was the thrill of having this effect on him or it could have been the idea that he'd been thinking about me before I knew he loved me. Whatever the reason, I was in heaven.
When I dragged my eyes open again, Mulder had moved closer to me. His pants were undone, and his penis was in his hand. At the sight of him leisurely stroking himself, I couldn't help sighing. There was nothing leisurely about the way he was looking at me. My eyes slowly drifted shut again as my fingers circled my swollen flesh. Knowing that Mulder was right outside the shower door watching me was sending little jolts of pleasure through me. My fingers were barely grazing my clit, but the contact made me gasp.
When I dared to look again, Mulder had stripped. His cock was still in his hand and his eyes were focused on me. His mouth opened slightly when he saw me looking and I could see his chest heaving. With my eyes still locked on his, I continued to lightly stroke myself.
"Scully," I saw the word on his lips.
I could feel my orgasm building. When Mulder took another step closer to me, it only took one more swirl of my fingers to send me flying.
"Jesus," I heard him groan through the white noise of my climax.
Once I stopped quaking, I opened my eyes to find him standing in the now open shower door.
"You knew I was watching you."
From the tone of his statement I quickly figured out that Mulder wanted to pretend that we were out on a case somewhere and not romantically attached. I had no qualms about doing that for him.
"I saw you in the mirror."
"Why did you leave the shower door open?"
"I was hoping you'd come in here and see me." It was true. There had been so many times I, too, had fantasized about this situation.
"And you came because I was watching you."
Nodding, I reached out to take his hand. Mulder wasted no time. His mouth was devouring mine in an instant; his hot, hard cock pressing into my belly. I wanted it a little lower. Standing on my tiptoes with my arms around his neck, I tried to lift myself so I could put my legs around his waist. When he realized what I was doing, he put his large hands under the curve of my ass and lifted me up.
"Is this what you wanted?" he asked in a low, gravelly voice as he lowered me onto his shaft.
"God, yes," I sighed as he gradually slid into me.
"I love you, Scully," he breathed as he began to take slow strokes. "Never doubt that."
"I never have, not once," I knew he was no longer in the fantasy.
From the way his muscles were tensed, I could tell his orgasm wasn't far off. I was desperate to feel him pulse inside of me, desperate to rebuild that connection that had slipped away, even if it was only a miniscule gap.
"Some part of me has always known that you've loved me. Maybe that's why I had all of those shuddering orgasms in more motel showers than I can remember."
"Unh -- Scully --" he grunted and began to tremble.
"I always hoped that you were stroking yourself while you thought about me -- thought about being deep inside of me, just like this," I was panting as I spoke.
"Yes, Christ, yes," he growled as he held my hips so he could thrust into me with abandon.
I loved watching his climax overtake him. The way his head was thrown back and the look of rapture on his face, in combination with his forceful final strokes sent me over the edge with him. Before he'd even recovered his breathing his lips were on mine, his tongue plunging into me. While he was ravaging my mouth, he had the presence of mind to reach behind me and turn off the water.
Stepping carefully out of the shower onto the towels I'd placed there, Mulder gently set me down.
"Stay there," he turned to grab a towel off the rack.
While I stood still, he began toweling me off, stopping to kiss my newly dried skin frequently. When he finished he dried himself quickly and tossed the towel into the hamper. Then, once again, he scooped me into his arms.
The bed was already turned down and waiting for us. After placing me carefully atop the sheet, he crawled in behind me.
"Did you really used to think about me while you showered?" he asked as he pulled the covers over us.
"Yes, but not only then," I confessed, wiggling my bottom against him.
"I love you so much," he sighed into my hair.
"I know, and I love you, but you still have to break the news about the dog to my mother in the morning."
"Yeah, but your mom will take my side. She loves me," he mumbled sleepily.
I was about to debate it with him further, but from the soft snores that had begun to tickle my ear, I knew it would be pointless.
end chapter 5