Chapter 22
Friday, October 6, 2000
9:45 p.m.
We were standing there, on opposite sides of the bed, not saying a word. Mulder was as white as a sheet. I was sure he was going to be ill. He was going to pay, for a long, long time, but I didn't think my stomach could handle it if he didn't calm down soon.
"Sit down, Mulder," I nodded toward the bed.
He did what I said, wordlessly.
"I don't even know where to start," I shook my head.
"I'm sorry, Scully," his shoulders drooped.
"For what? Talking about our sex life to your buddy or lying to me -- how many times?" I tried to keep my voice down. I doubted Andrew was asleep yet.
"For both things," he answered meekly, without lifting his head.
"What about the fact that Brent now thinks you lie to me? What about that?" I was livid.
"It wasn't like that, Scully, really," he looked up at me sorrowfully. "It wasn't like that."
"Then explain it to me, Mulder. Explain what it was like."
"Christ, Scully, you're scaring me," Mulder's eyes were wide. "Please sit here with me," he implored me with his eyes.
My feet stayed firmly planted. Instead of settling down, I was only getting angrier.
"Please, Scully," he was begging.
I walked around the bed and sat down heavily beside him. "Start talking."
"I'll start at the beginning," his eyes darted toward me.
"Always a good place to start," I glared at him.
"Well, I guess first I should say that I didn't notice the headboard last night," he sighed pitifully.
"Uh huh. Lie number one."
"When I went downstairs this morning to make your breakfast, Brent came into the kitchen looking pretty rough. I thought he'd found the couch uncomfortable, but apparently he found it more uncomfortable listening to us make love," Mulder began.
"Oh," I would have blushed if my face hadn't been red with anger.
"But I didn't know that right away," he continued. "First he asked me about our marriage, if it was a marriage of convenience. I assured him it wasn't. He said he'd gathered that from what he'd heard, or something to that effect and that it was no wonder Andrew was in such a hurry to move out."
"Then why did he ask, if he already knew?" I wondered irritably.
"Well, he wanted to know as my lawyer, because although I never came out and said it directly, he knew we got married to keep the kids away from the Barnes. I think it was also the most delicate way he knew to tell me that we made one hell of a racket when we had sex," Mulder shrugged and then snuck another look at me.
"So why the hell did you end up talking about our sex life?"
"It started very innocently, Scully, I swear. He wanted to know how out marriage changed from what it was in the beginning to what he'd heard last night."
I could tell from Mulder's expression that he was being completely honest with me.
"So why didn't you just say that it took us a while, but we figured it out eventually," I challenged him.
"Well, he thought that when I asked you to marry me, you would have realized that I loved you, so I had to tell him that it didn't work out exactly like that," he smiled thinly. "Try explaining it to someone, Scully. It's very complicated. I was just trying to explain how it evolved."
"So just how personal did you get?" I realized they couldn't have had that much time too talk.
"There were no details, Scully. None, I promise," he looked at me hopefully.
"And I should trust you because..."
"Scully, I'm sorry I lied. I knew you'd be angry that I'd said anything at all," his shoulders sagged again.
"Didn't you say that you told Brent the circumstances of when we finally realized --" I had to pause to take a breath, "how much we loved each other?" I still got goose bumps when I thought about that night.
"Here's what I said," Mulder covered my hand with his. "I had already told him that we'd been having sex regularly --"
"You told him more than that?" I shook my head. "Good God, Mulder."
"I said that I was about to do something for you --"
"No," I groaned in disbelief.
"And that you stopped me, saying I didn't have to and that's when we realized." From the look of terror on his face, I could tell he told me everything.
"I can't believe that you'd share such intimate details of our life, Mulder," I was still shaking my head. "But I have to be honest, Mulder, it's so much worse that you lied to me about it."
"What should I have done?" He looked helpless. "Told you right then what we were talking about?"
"How about saying, 'I'll tell you later'?" I suggested.
"Scully, I know I shouldn't have told Brent. It just kind of slipped out and I'm truly sorry, but you still would have chewed me a new one if I'd told you right away," he challenged me.
"Yes, I would have, but it would have been much smaller."
Mulder began to laugh. He laughed so hard he fell back onto the bed. "God, I love you, Scully," he managed to sputter.
"I love you too, Mulder, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook," I informed him dryly. "I'm going to put a lot of time and energy into figuring out what your penance will be. I'll make sure you'll never want to lie to me again."
"Can't I pick my own punishment?" he'd stopped laughing.
"You wish," I grinned evilly.
"When do I find out?" his brow was furrowed.
"When I've thought of something good and after you've sweated for a bit," I was beginning to feel better.
"You know, Scully, I think you're being a little hard on me considering the fact that you've discussed aspects of our sex life with your mother," he narrowed his eyes at me.
"I don't remember telling you that," I wracked my brain.
"You didn't, until just know," he grinned victoriously.
"That was different," I defended myself. "That was because Jordan walked in on us. I wanted to make sure we'd handled it correctly," I backpedaled quickly.
"You still never told me," he beamed triumphantly.
"I'd completely forgotten about that, Mulder, and I didn't lie about it when you asked me," I reminded him.
"Yeah, well --"
"Okay, so I'll back off your penance a bit," I offered.
"But what will your punishment be, Scully?" he waggled his eyebrows at me as he pulled me on top of him.
"Haven't I been punished enough?" I tried not to laugh as he began to nuzzle my neck.
"Not even close," he flipped us over quickly. "Not even close," he repeated as he lowered his mouth to mine.
I parted my lips and let him thrust his tongue into my mouth.
"This discussion isn't over," I warned him when we parted to gasp for air.
"Okay." He covered my mouth again, pinning my arms over my head.
My body began to respond immediately to him. My hips moved purposefully against his growing erection.
"God, if this is punishment, Mulder," I panted when our lips parted again.
"Give you any ideas? he grinned down at me.
"It gives me more ideas than I can count," my chest was heaving. "None of them, however, are related to your punishment."
"A boy can always hope," his eyes had darkened dramatically.
"And this won't change your punishment in the least," I pressed my hips against him. "But we can worry about that later."
"I'll do whatever you want, Scully," he slipped his hand under my blouse and began to squeeze my breast through my bra. "But right now, I'm not finished punishing you."
The roughness in his voice made me shiver in anticipation. I was helpless to do anything, with my hands pinned. "Let me have my hands. I want to touch you."
"Nuh uh," he shook his head. "That's your punishment."
Taking his free hand out from under my shirt, he began to slowly unbutton it. His eyes were fixed on mine; watching my reactions.
"Do you want to touch me, Scully?" He was running his hand roughly over my breast.
"Mulder," I whined, tugging at my hands. I did want to touch him; his face, his chest, his ass.
"Do you?" he asked as he pushed my bra out of his way.
"Yes," I panted, trying to wiggle free.
"None of that," he tightened his grip. "If you fight your punishment, I'll have to punish you again." He bent his mouth to my nipple, making my head swim.
"Is that supposed to be a deterrent?" I breathed.
Mulder chuckled against my breast. He ran his teeth over my nipple before lifting his head. "Only if you want it to be." His smoky voice made me shudder again.
Part of me wanted to lie there quietly and take my punishment, but most of me wanted to make sure this happened again. And again.
"Really, Mulder, I want to touch you. I want to feel your ass. Please," I worded my protest carefully. I didn't want him to think I was serious.
"Shh," he warned me before sucking a nipple back into his mouth.
"Oh God," I arched my back.
Mulder's hand was now working at my pants. He had to move his weight off of me to get them off. I took the opportunity to try to wriggle free.
"Stay still," Mulder chastised me.
I couldn't help giggling as I scooted backwards on the bed.
"I said stay still," Mulder's voice was gravelly.
When I felt his hand on my hip, I thought he was going to hold me down. Instead I felt the elastic of my panties digging into me. I froze when I heard the sound of fabric ripping. I should have been angry, but I was feeling something entirely different. My clit was throbbing and I could feel the dampness of what was left of my panties against my thigh. I was loving this -- thrilled with our game.
When I looked up, Mulder's eyes were waiting -- waiting to see my reaction. I wanted him to know it was okay, that I loved to feel this level of passion from him. It only barely occurred to me that not ten minutes ago I'd been reading him the riot act.
Letting my eyes smile at him, I squirmed again. Mulder's eyes reacted by becoming even darker.
"Will this keep you still?" he put his hand between my legs.
"No," I moaned pressing against his palm.
"Jesus, you're wet," his voice seemed to quake.
I moaned again, this time in displeasure when he took his hand away. I tried to lift my head to see what he was doing, but with my arms pinned, I couldn't raise my head high enough to see anything. Within seconds, Mulder was on top of me again. I groaned when I felt him sliding into me. His mouth covered mine again and he kissed me fiercely, tugging at my lips with his teeth.
I didn't do as I was told. I didn't keep still. Instead, I put my legs around his hips and moved with him as best I could. My arms may have been immobilized, but my hips moved freely, meeting his with every thrust. When our bodies met, something felt different. A surge of heat shot through me when I realized that Mulder was still wearing his pants. I groaned into his mouth and then kissed him back, matching his fervor. It wasn't long before we needed to breathe.
"Scully," Mulder panted into my ear. "Love you." I felt his grip loosen on my wrists. "Love you so much."
"Yes," I was breathing hard. "Yes, Mulder."
The friction of his pants against my clit was more than I could bear. My muscles tensed and I pressed myself against him as my clit pulsed. My body quaked and I murmured his name over and over. Through the haze of my climax I felt him tense and his cock throbbed inside of me. I wasn't expecting what I heard next -- Mulder's shaky voice in my ear.
"I'm sorry, Scully. I'm so sorry."
"Shh, Mulder," I stroked his head with my now free hands.
"I was so scared," he rolled over and pulled me with him, holding me tightly.
"It's okay, Mulder," I assured him. "I like seeing that passion. I know it was a game."
"No," he shook his head. "Before when you were angry. I've never been that scared before."
"Scared of what?" I was at a loss.
"That I'd messed up really badly -- that you wouldn't forgive me," he was trembling.
"Oh, Mulder," I kissed him softly. "Yes, I was mad, but couples have fights, Mulder. That's all it was."
"God, Scully," he squeezed me again.
"And I've forgiven you. But I'm still working on a really good punishment," I chuckled. "Not like what you did. That was fun."
"I noticed that you seemed to enjoy it," he finally smiled.
"One thing confuses me, Mulder," I cupped his face. "If you were so scared, why that game?"
"Adrenaline?" he shrugged. "I dunno, I guess I wanted to see how you'd react. If you responded, everything would be okay. If you didn't, if you asked me to stop, it would have been bad. Does that make sense?"
"For you? Yeah," I chuckled.
"So..." his hands came to rest on my ass. "I was expecting you to ask me to stop."
"Because of the fight? I thought we'd pretty much resolved it, except for --"
"Yeah, yeah, my punishment," he interrupted me. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"More than you know," I chuckled. "So why did you think I'd stop you?"
"Well, we've never done anything like that before," he sounded a little awkward.
"Like what? Make mad passionate love?" I laughed. "We do that all the time."
"Yeah, we do, don't we?" he grinned and squirmed happily underneath me.
"So what did you mean, then? I kissed his chin.
"You didn't think I was a little, I dunno, aggressive?"
"You didn't hurt me, if that's what you're asking," I kissed his cleft. I loved that cleft. I loved how you couldn't always see it. It was more visible when he had a five o'clock shadow. I kissed it again.
"But the way I pinned your arms and ripped your panties?"
I was surprised he sounded so unsure. I'd obviously enjoyed it. "If I hadn't wanted you do to that, Mulder, you would have known."
"But you'd just chewed me a new one and --"
"I think just like you needed to make sure, I needed to be sure too. Isn't that what make up sex is all about? Being sure. You want to be sure the other person still loves you."
"Yeah," he grinned. "So I should be aggressive more often?"
"Not all the time," I chuckled. "I still like it when we make love slowly -- when we have the time to enjoy each other."
"I'm sorry I didn't let you enjoy me," his eyes filled with sorrow.
"No, Mulder," I kissed him quickly. "That's not what I meant. Tonight was perfect just what I needed --what we needed. But sometimes I need to enjoy you."
"I'm enjoying this," he reached up to caress my cheek.
"So am I," I whispered and stretched to reach his lips. I enjoyed his lips, his cheeks, his eyelids and his cleft, again. He helped me remove his clothes, so I could enjoy more of him. Then I enjoyed his neck and the way his pulse felt against my lips. I enjoyed his chest and the way his nipple hardened against my tongue.
I was enjoying his navel when I noticed that his breathing had changed. I looked up to find him sleeping. I laid my head on his belly and smiled.
"C'mon, Mulder," I shook him gently. "Let's get under the covers."
"Wha --?" he opened one eye. "Sorry, Scully."
"Sorry for what?" I gave him my hand to help him up.
"Falling asleep on you," he let me help him up.
"I think I was on you," I chuckled.
"Yeah, but --"
"But you were relaxed," I pointed out. "That's a good thing. Now get into bed," I swatted his ass.
"Okay," he sighed sleepily and pulled the covers back. He crawled into bed and watched as I removed what was left of my clothing. The panties went into the trash. His brow furrowed when I pulled on my housecoat. "Where are you going?"
"To put the dog out. He's probably bursting," I chuckled.
"No, you come to bed. I'll put Guinness out," Mulder threw the covers back.
"It's okay," I smiled.
"Bed," he pointed and began to walk toward the door.
"Planning on giving the neighbors a show?" I asked as I took my robe off again.
"Huh?"
"How about at least a pair of boxers?" I laughed.
"Oh right," he turned around.
I was safely snuggled into bed when Mulder came back. His body was cool from the night air and he shivered a little when he slid into bed.
"Guinness followed me up the stairs," he informed me as he pulled my warm body against is.
"Trying to get in here, was he?" I smiled against Mulder's chest.
"Actually," Mulder stroked my hair. "He's sleeping in front of Jordan's door."
"Aww, what a sweetie."
"Are you admitting that getting a dog was a good idea," he chuckled into my hair.
"I never said it was a bad idea, Mulder. You just should've asked me first," I reminded him.
"You know what?" his voice was getting sleepy.
"What?"
"Maybe we should make love laying across the bed like that more often. We probably didn't keep Andrew up."
"Do you really think Andrew could hear us?" I blushed at the thought.
"Well, he was sleeping with his pillow over his head," Mulder's voice had become very drowsy again.
"Brent was right," I murmured. "It's no wonder Andrew was in such a hurry to move out."
In the morning, Mulder and I both woke early. Andrew must have been as quiet as a mouse when he left, because neither Mulder nor I heard him go. We were so used to waking at six, that our bodies began to surface of their own accord. Since it was a Saturday, we had the luxury of time. Megan was still sleeping soundly and Jordan probably wouldn't get up until after seven.
We didn't move from the position we'd woken in. It was a position that remained one of our favorites. I loved that we had the time to enjoy it, because I knew, once the children woke, we'd have no time to enjoy each other this way until they were in bed again for the night.
We were still in the same position, spooned closely together, talking softly, when I heard Megan start to wake. It had been a while since we'd had the chance to make love in the morning.
On weekdays there was never enough time, and last weekend I'd been feeling ill. In the last couple of days my morning sickness had started to abate and I was very grateful. I got the impression that Mulder was too.
"I'll get her," he murmured into my ear and then kissed it softly.
"Okay, but let me make breakfast after I have a quick shower," I turned in his arms to return his kiss.
"Meet you in the kitchen," he waggled his eyebrows.
Since weekday morning breakfasts usually consisted of cereal and toast, I decided to make pancakes; Jordan's favorite. He whooped from the top of the stairs when he smelled them.
"Pancakes," he hollered when he ran into the kitchen, making Megan drop her spoon in surprise. She was busily eating some applesauce while she waited for the pancakes.
"They're almost ready," I assured him.
"Goody," he plunked himself down at the table and took a big swig of his orange juice, then wiped his mouth the back of his hand.
"Napkin, Jordan," Mulder reminded him, without seeming to look up from his paper.
"Sorry," he picked up his napkin and wiped his now dry mouth.
"Did you have plans for today, Scully?" Mulder looked at me over his paper.
"Yeah, both of the kids need winter coats and boots. I was planning to go to the mall early, before it gets busy," I smiled as I put two pancakes onto Jordan's plate.
"Boots? For Megan?" he looked puzzled.
"Well, she is starting to walk," I pointed out.
"True," he shrugged. "So when are we going?"
"Oh, you don't have to come, Mulder," I laughed as I helped Jordan put syrup on his pancakes. "You'd be bored to tears."
"I wouldn't want to abdicate my duties as father," he winked at me.
"No, really, Mulder," I assured him.
"I want to come, okay?" he sounded defensive.
"Sure, fine, whatever," I rolled my eyes.
So Mulder played the dutiful father for two hours at JC Penny's. Every time he caught me looking at him, he'd paste a smile on his face, but more often than not he looked like he was enduring some form of slow medieval torture. By the time we were ready to leave, the mall was swarming with people. I'm sure the expression on my face closely matched Mulder's.
"I'm almost afraid to ask this, Scully," Mulder began when we were all buckled into the van. "But did you have plans for this afternoon?"
"No," I managed, once I'd stopped laughing. "And you didn't have to come."
"I promised you that I'd participate," he reminded me.
"That doesn't mean that you have to come to the mall every time I go," I shook my head.
"I know," he reached and squeezed my thigh. "But I don't get much time with them."
"We have all weekend, you could have taken some time for yourself. I know I'm planning to," I patted his hand.
"Yeah?" his eyes started to shine. "Because I wouldn't mind spending some time--" he paused for dramatic effect, "Online."
"Are you still cruising the chat rooms, Mulder?" I tried to sound disapproving.
"Only the paranormal ones," he assured me.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I shook my head.
So while the kids slept and Mulder did -- whatever, I settled down on the couch with the latest Patricia Cornwell novel. If Mulder could spend his free time tracking down people in the Twilight Zone, I could read a book about a crime solving pathologist. I was about five chapters in when the phone startled me.
"I'll get it," Mulder called from the den.
I'd just become completely absorbed again when Mulder walked into the living room. All the color had left his face.
"What's the matter?" I jumped up.
"That was Andrew's grandmother," his voice was muted. "She was wondering where he was."
"He never got there?" The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
"Leigh," Mulder and I whispered in concert.
end chapter 22