...all MSR all the time..
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Part 2
In half an hour I had fed and changed Megan and put her back in her crib. I was almost asleep again when I crawled back into bed. I reached behind me to grab the covers, but I missed. I ended up with a handful of very aroused Mulder instead.
Groaning at the contact, he pressed himself against my hand.
"Sorry, Mulder," was all that I could think to say. When I attempted to release my grip, his hand covered mine and he moved my hand along his erection.
"Don't stop, Scully," his voice was raspy.
I could feel him throbbing through the fabric of his boxers. It felt glorious, but I couldn't do anything for him with my arm at this angle.
"Roll over, Mulder," I said gently.
"Please, Scully," he pleaded.
"Mulder, my arm doesn't bend this way. Roll over," I instructed.
When he had moved to his other side I laid behind him and reached over him. He groaned again when my hand made contact. After stroking him lightly through his boxers a few times, he exhaled sharply when I reached inside. His cock was hot and hard. His skin was stretched so tightly that it felt like silk. Running my hand along his shaft lightly, I tried to commit every nuance of his hardness to memory. I wondered if he noticed that my breathing had altered as much as his own had.
When I ran my thumb over the head of his cock, I was pleased to discover a large drop of his natural lubricant. Swirling my thumb, I spread his moisture around, gathering and spreading more and more until my hand slid easily up and down his shaft.
"Scully," he said slowly. "God, that feels good."
"Mmm," I agreed.
His breathing became even more labored; he was getting close. He began to thrust into my hand.
"Let me do the work, Mulder," I whispered.
"God, Scully," he panted.
On every stroke, I ended by circling the rim of his cock with my fingers. He began to moan constantly. When I felt his cock pulse, I continued to stroke him through his orgasm, my stomach fluttering when he called my name.
I waited for his breathing to begin to return to normal before I slipped to the bathroom. After I got back into bed, Mulder slid out of bed too.
He got back into bed quietly. "I'm sorry, Scully."
"Mulder, *I* grabbed you," I chuckled.
"Yeah, but I--"
"It's okay, really," I assured him.
"It felt so good, I didn't want you to stop. I shouldn't have made you..."
"Mulder, you didn't *make* me do anything. And as I recall, you did say please," I reminded him.
"Is that all it takes, Scully? I wish I'd known that sooner," he sounded amused.
"Go to sleep, Mulder. We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow," I ignored his comment. This time I made sure that I had the blankets when I reached for them.
"Night, honeybunch," he chuckled drowsily.
"Night, poopyhead." I smiled to myself as I pulled the covers over my shoulder. I was exhausted, but now there was a relentless throbbing between my legs and I couldn't very well do anything about it with Mulder lying next to me. When I tried to think about other things, the memory of the sound of his voice pleading with me to continue kept insinuating itself into my thoughts. Somehow I managed to fall back to sleep, the ache between my thighs having dwindled to a dull roar.
The alarm jolted me awake again. I showered first and while I dried my hair, Mulder had his shower. I had just turned off my blow dryer when I heard the front doorbell ring. Mulder stepped out of the shower with a towel around his waist. I couldn't stop myself from letting my eyes wander over his chest and stomach.
"I'll go let my mother in," I told him.
Before I made it out of the bathroom, I heard Megan start to whimper.
"I'll get her," Mulder nodded at me, "You go let your mother in."
When I opened the front door my mother wasn't there, but there were some boxes sitting on the porch. I picked them up and carried them to the dining room. As I was walking back to the front door, I met my mother carrying a platter.
"Where's Fox, dear? I'll need his help bring in some things."
"What things?"
"More flowers and food, the dress and a few other things," she informed me with a smile.
Mulder came downstairs with Megan just as she was finishing.
"Fox," she smiled. "Could you help me bring some things in from the car?"
"Sure, Mrs. Scully," he said, handing the baby to me.
I was giving Megan her breakfast when they finished. Mulder started a pot of coffee and made some toast. Just as my mother was telling me that it was time to start my hair, a pajama-clad Jordan wandered into the kitchen. Mulder assured me that he would be able to handle the kids.
The rest of the morning passed in a haze with a flurry of doing hair and make-up. Then we had to make sure that I had something old; we decided that my shoes would do. Something new; I thought my ring would suffice, but even though my mother thought it was gorgeous, she said it didn't count and she was on the lookout for something else. Something borrowed; my mother's wedding dress fit the bill. And something blue; which we thought we might not be able to fill until I remembered my pair of pale blue panties.
My mother had done my hair in cascading curls all over my head, as she was wont to do whenever I let her get near it. Then she pinned baby's breath into one upswept side. When I was finally satisfied with my appearance, with the exception of my hair, I shook my head at her.
"Why were you in such a hurry, Mom? Now I'm going to have to wait all of this time and not even be able to sit without worrying about wrinkling my dress."
"Dana, it's 10:30," she informed me.
"10:30," I gasped, "Where did the time go?"
A sharp knock made us both look at the door.
"Who is it?" my mother called.
"It's me," Mulder's voice answered.
My mother hurried over to the door. Opening it just a crack, she peered out. "Fox, you really shouldn't see Dana before the wedding. You shared a bed last night--that's bad enough."
I heard Mulder say something, but I couldn't make it out. My mother opened the door and slipped into the hall. A few seconds later Mulder walked in. He stopped short when he saw me.
"Scully," he breathed, "You look stunning."
"Thank you, Mulder." I could feel myself blushing. "You look handsome, too." He was dressed in a dark suit with a white shirt and dark gray tie. I wondered briefly when he had taken his clothes, because I didn't remember him being in the room at all. But he could have come in when I was in the bathroom.
"I have something for you," he said walking towards me. I stared in disbelief when he pulled yet another velvet box from his jacket pocket. It was no wonder he had been so long at the jewelry store.
"Mulder, what else have you bought?"
"A wedding present," he smiled, handing me the box.
Inside was a fine gold chain and suspended from it was a diamond encrusted floating heart.
"Mulder, I didn't get you anything," I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I blinked furiously trying to prevent them from spilling over and ruining my make-up.
"When would you have had time?" he smiled. "And besides, Scully, you've already given me the only thing that I could have asked for."
"What's that?" I asked quietly.
"You said yes," he smiled. Then taking the chain from the box, he put it around my neck. "Your mother only agreed to let me in because she said it would be something new," he added with a shrug.
"It's beautiful, Mulder. Thank you," I breathed. It sounded woefully inadequate, but I didn't know what else to say.
"No one will even notice it, Scully. They won't be able to take their eyes off of you."
My mother knocked on the door and came back into the room. She hurried Mulder out, and after some last minute fussing with my hair, she said it was time.
It didn't seem real standing in the living room of the Prescott's home. The room had been decorated with flowers and someone was taking pictures. Everything seemed brighter than normal, and my ears were filled with white noise. It was actually happening; I was standing there beside Mulder, repeating the words of the priest.
Then I heard Father McCue saying, "You may kiss the bride," and Mulder was leaning towards me. When I lifted my face up, I couldn't decipher what I saw in his eyes. It almost looked like reverence, but I decided that my judgment must be clouded by my own feelings.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered before his lips met mine.
I was expecting him to give me a quick peck, so I was shocked when I felt his tongue against my lips. Instinctively, I opened my mouth to him. When our tongues met, my knees gave way and I had to lean against him for support. Finally we had to break the kiss to get some air.
Why had Mulder kissed me like that? My knees were still shaky. I knew that he wanted to convince everyone that we were in love, but that went a bit overboard. My cheeks were flaming; I was the blushing bride, how embarrassing.
I heard Father McCue introduce us as Mr. and Mrs. Mulder, and that was it, we were married.
The afternoon proved to be as surreal as the morning had been. Everyone stood around talking and laughing. At first I thought that my mother had brought far too much food, but as the afternoon passed, the platters emptied to almost nothing. I'd forgotten how much the Gunmen could put away, and Skinner surprised me by putting the Gunmen to shame.
I remember participating in several conversations, but I have almost no recollection of what was said. I saw Mulder in what looked like a serious téte-á-téte with Skinner but I forgot to ask him what it was about. No one would let me hold or feed the children, claiming that I would ruin my dress.
Someone had given Frohike a camera and he wasn't shy about using it. My pupils were having a hard time adjusting to the constant flashes in my face.
Mulder noticed that I seemed to be in a daze and asked me if I was all right. Apparently he found my answer of "I'm fine," quite amusing because he kissed me and laughed, "I'm glad to see that marriage hasn't changed you."
I assured him that it was all just a bit overwhelming and that when everything was back to normal, I'd be okay. After that he stayed close to me, encouraging me to sit or eat with every other sentence. If it hadn't been so endearing, it would have been very annoying.
Since Sheila Wesley's daughter was the only eligible female, my mother saying that she'd had *her* turn, we decided to forego throwing the bouquet and I simply handed the flowers to Sarah. Frohike was bitterly disappointed that I wasn't wearing a garter. That was one detail that had slipped everyone's mind, much to my relief. Mulder promised Frohike a special surprise to help him get over it. When his eyes lit up, I assured him that it would *not* be a copy of our honeymoon video. He looked dejected again until Mulder slapped him on the back and told him that he was now the proud owner of the infamous Fox Mulder Video Collection.
By 6 o'clock everyone had gone and Mulder and I were alone with the kids again. When I promised to have my mother's dress back to her after I'd had it cleaned, she told me that the dress was mine now. I argued that it wouldn't be borrowed then, but she smiled and said that I could consider myself to be looking after it for Megan.
The evening flew by again with feeding, bathing and getting the kids to bed. When Mulder came downstairs after reading to Jordan, he announced that he was going for a run.
"It's been a while. You don't mind, do you?"
"Of course not," I said with a wave of my hand. "I think I'm going to take a bath anyway."
After changing to his running gear, Mulder stopped in the living room again.
"I'm not sure how long I'll be. I have to find a new route," he explained.
"Okay," I smiled. "See you in a bit."
It was a good fifteen minutes before I got up the energy to get off the couch again and go upstairs. Setting the baby monitor on the vanity, I filled the tub and added some foaming milk bath.
I sank into the tub with a sigh and let the hot water relax me completely. As I soaked in the fragrant bubbles my mind began to run through the events of the day. It still hadn't begun to sink in; my stomach fluttered every time I remembered that Mulder and I were married.
When I remembered how Mulder had kissed me, a tingle started between my legs. Then I let my mind wander back to what had happened the previous night and the tingle became more persistent. I couldn't ignore it; I didn't want to. My nipples tightened as I skimmed my hands over them. I slid my hands past my belly and let my right hand slip between my thighs. I brought my left back up to my breast in an attempt to ease the growing ache there.
As my fingers began to circle my now throbbing bundle of nerves, I once again allowed my mind to drift. The memory of Mulder's tongue against my lips made them fairly burn. The gentle caress of his tongue against mine fanned the fire in my core. When I recalled how hot and hard Mulder had felt in my hand, something within me surged. As I remembered the sound of my name on his lips when he came, I went plummeting over the edge. My clit jumped and pulsed under my fingers, white lights flashed behind my eyes and I murmured his name. I'd died many little deaths thinking of Mulder, but recent events had made this the deadliest of all.
A knock at the door almost made me jump out of my flushed skin.
"Are you almost done, Scully?"
"What?" I asked in a daze.
"Are you almost finished your bath, or should I go shower in the other bathroom?"
"No, I'm done," I called. "Just give me a second."
My hands were shaking as I got out of the tub. What had Mulder heard? Probably nothing, I tried to convince myself. I was sure that I hadn't been loud, I'm usually not. When I left the bathroom Mulder was standing next to the bed.
"Good run?" I asked.
"Not bad," he shrugged. "But next time I think I'll make it a little longer."
His hair was damp with sweat; his t-shirt almost drenched. The sweat on his legs glistened in the lamplight. God, I had it bad. Even like this he made my pulse quicken.
While he showered I changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed. It was barely after 10, but I was exhausted. Mulder was back quickly. I've never figured out how he could be done so fast. Granted I had more hair than he did, but he had far more body. He was out of the shower before I would have even had a chance to get thoroughly wet. I guess it was one of life's little mysteries.
"I'm still pumped from my run, Scully," he told me as he pulled a pair of boxers on under his towel. "I think I'll go and watch some TV."
"Good night then, Mulder," I said sleepily. "I'm wiped, and with having to get up with Megan..."
"I could get up," he offered.
"That's okay, Mulder," I smiled. "But thank you for offering. I'll still wake up when she cries, so there's no point really."
"But I don't want to stick you with all of the night time feedings." He looked genuinely worried.
"I don't mind, Mulder, honestly. I enjoy that time with her; the closeness and the peacefulness. I find it very intimate," I promised him. "But don't worry, you'll have your share of dirty diapers to change."
"Thanks," he laughed. "Goodnight, honeybunch."
"Night, poopyhead," I laughed with him.
It was odd, I thought as I got comfortable, I was sure that I'd seen tears shining in Mulder's eyes, but I had no idea why. It must have been a trick of the light. Not too long after my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light. When Megan's cries woke me, I was surprised to find that Mulder wasn't in the bed.
I discovered him asleep on the couch with the TV still on when I went downstairs with Megan to get her bottle. I went back upstairs and fed Megan in the rocking chair in her room. Once she was settled again I grabbed a spare blanket from the linen closet. After putting the bottle back in the kitchen I covered Mulder up and turned off the TV.
As I was crawling back into bed it suddenly occurred to me that this was my wedding night and it certainly wasn't how I pictured it. But for the past 7 years little had turned out as I'd expected. I hadn't really expected anything to happen anyway, although I hoped it might eventually.
Before the clock radio began to play in the morning, I was wakened by the click of the bathroom door as it shut. A minute or so later Mulder came out of the bathroom. I opened one eye to look at him.
"Did I wake you, Scully?"
"Mmm, but that's okay, Mulder. The alarm will be going off soon anyway."
"Why didn't you wake me up last night?" he asked as he sat down on the bed beside me.
"You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't have the heart to," I told him.
"Scully," he said gently. "We are going to have to get into the habit of sleeping together. What if Jordan had found me there and then it came out when he was talking to the social worker?"
"I didn't think of that, Mulder. I thought that you might be more comfortable there," I admitted.
"More comfortable? Hardly!" he laughed.
"You always used to sleep on *your* couch," I pointed out.
"Yeah, but there was no one waiting in my bed for me to spoon up to," he waggled his eyebrows at me.
"I thought that you might be afraid that I would assault you again," I confessed quietly.
Mulder threw his head back and laughed, "Scully, you can assault me like that anytime your heart desires."
"Mulder," I rolled my eyes, "You'll wake the kids."
"Oh, they'll be up soon anyway," he laughed. "Do you want me to make breakfast? I could make pancakes."
"That would be nice," I smiled. "Oh, and Mulder," I stopped him before he got up, "I wouldn't mind if you wanted to put a TV in here to help you get to sleep. It certainly won't keep me up."
"Are you sure?" he asked in surprise.
"Of course, I'm sure," I said in consternation.
"Maybe tomorrow I'll stop by my apartment and pick up mine. I have some errands to run anyway," he said happily.
"I'm just going to have a quick shower," I told him. "Will you listen for Megan?"
"Sure," he agreed quickly. "But you just had a bath last night."
"I didn't wash my hair though and I'm sure it looks pretty bad."
"Well," he laughed, "It does look like a bit of a rat's nest."
"Shut up, Mulder," I swatted at him, but he scooted out of the way.
"You'll have to be faster than that to get me, Scully," he smirked.
"I didn't have to be very fast the other night," I said smugly.
Mulder opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again. I think I may have even detected a hint of pink in his cheeks.
"I'm going to start breakfast," he informed me, getting up quickly.
I'd embarrassed Mulder. If I'd kept a diary, I would have written it down.
When I went down for breakfast, Mulder surprised me by giving me a good-morning kiss. He was serious about the picture that he wanted to present to Jordan and I understood completely. I didn't mind being kissed either.
Mulder did a wonderful job with breakfast. Jordan ate as many pancakes as I did. Sheila wasn't kidding that he was a good eater.
Since Mulder had done the cooking, I did the cleaning. He had the kids in the living room with him, so I decided to finish making the baby food that I had started on Friday. I was filling up an ice cube tray with peaches when Mulder appeared in the kitchen with a very sleepy baby.
"I'll take her up," he said quietly. "I just came for her bottle," he explained when I put my spoon down. "Jordan's watching TV. He should be fine."
Through the monitor I could hear Mulder feeding Megan and putting her in her crib. He was back quickly, putting the half-empty bottle back on the counter.
"She goes down so easily," he smiled.
"She's a little angel," I returned his smile.
After finishing with the peaches, I did up some pears and when I was done with those, I decided to wash the kitchen floor. Even though I'd washed it Thursday night, with the two kids and all of the activity yesterday it was starting to get sticky again.
Just as I was finishing, Mulder and Jordan came in asking what was for lunch. It seemed to me that we had just had breakfast so I glanced up at the clock. It was 11:55. As if on cue, Megan started to fuss upstairs.
"I'll go," Mulder smiled.
I asked Jordan what he wanted for lunch and he requested macaroni and cheese. As I was filling up the pot to cook the macaroni I heard Mulder on the monitor talking to Megan.
"Hello beautiful," he said softly.
She stopped whimpering.
"Did you have a good sleep, sweetheart?"
It secretly thrilled me that he interacted like this with Megan. I was sure that Mulder had forgotten that we could hear him.
"I bet I should change your diaper," I heard him lift Megan out of the crib. "I think I've been letting your new mommy do that too much."
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jordan look towards the monitor. I prayed that he hadn't heard what Mulder had said or didn't understand.
"Are you *my* new mommy too, Dana?" he asked curiously. "Aren't my old mom and dad coming back?"
I realized that I had no idea what he'd been told. As I turned to face him, I tried desperately to blink back the tears that had sprung to my eyes.
"Why does everyone get sad when I ask that?" he looked puzzled.
"Who did you ask?" I wanted to know.
"Mrs. Wesley and Sarah," he told me.
"What did they say?"
"Sarah just started to cry, and Mrs. Wesley said we would talk about it later, but we never did."
"Well, Jordan, everyone gets sad, because something very sad happened and they don't want you to feel sad," I tried to explain.
"Is the sad thing that they aren't coming back?"
"Yes, Jordan."
"But why aren't they coming back? Where did they go?" His bottom lip was quivering.
I should have prepared myself for this question, but I'd been too busy worry about all of the changes in my own life to think about it. I decided on the spot to be honest with him.
"They didn't want to go away, Jordan. Something bad happened and they got hurt. The doctors tried to make them better but they were too badly hurt." I drew on my residency training to try to explain it to him.
"They died?" he asked quietly.
"Yes, they did, Jordan. I'm sorry."
"And you and Mulder are my new mom and dad?" he was inquisitive.
"Your mom and dad asked Mulder a long time ago to be your dad if anything ever happened to them. Then Mulder asked me to be your mom. But your grandma and grandpa want to be your mom and dad, too," I decided to tell him.
"I don't like them," he wrinkled his nose. "I like you and Mulder."
"Mulder and I like you, too, Jordan and we want to be your mom and dad, but someone else will make the final decision."
"Who?"
"A judge." I told him.
"I don't want you and Mulder to go away, too." His bottom lip began to tremble again.
"C'mere, Jordan," I sat down and patted my knee. He climbed up and I gave him a hug. "Mulder and I will fight very hard to keep you and that's a promise, but we will have to do what the judge says."
Jordan nodded solemnly.
"The judge already decided that Mulder and I will probably get to keep you, but we had to do a few things if we are going to get to keep you," I tried to help him understand.
"Like what?"
"Well, we had to get married," I began.
"You already did that," he smiled.
"Yes, we did. We also have to prove that we can be good parents. As long as we do that, I'm pretty sure that the judge will let us be your new parents forever."
"Okay," he said quietly.
After giving him another squeeze I said, "If you have anymore questions, Jordan, Mulder and I will do our best to answer them for you."
When Jordan slid off of my lap, I spied Mulder standing in the doorway holding Megan. I'm not sure how long he'd been there, but judging from the look on his face, it was long enough.
He put Megan in her high chair. I'd gone back to the stove to cook the macaroni.
"What brought that on?" Mulder whispered when he'd joined me at the stove.
"He heard you talking to Megan on the monitor," I said softly.
Mulder's eyes grew wide and he groaned.
"It's okay, Mulder. It's probably for the best actually," I tried to console him.
"God, Scully, are you sure?"
"I think he may still have some problems and I might have been too open with him, I'm not sure. We'll have to wait and see."
Lunch passed without incident. While the kids slept, Mulder told me about his plans for Monday. We were sitting at the kitchen table having coffee while we talked. Skinner wanted Mulder to come in to get some paperwork that we needed to sign.
"I've been thinking about that, Mulder," I told him when we began to discuss the leaves of absence that we would take. "I think that maybe I should stay home at least until the custody hearing and maybe longer."
"Is that what you want to do?" he asked in surprise.
"I really think Megan and Jordan need some stability in their lives; especially Jordan," I explained.
"I think that they do, too, but I don't want you to feel pressured into doing this, Scully."
"To be honest, Mulder, I was feeling more pressure about returning to work," I admitted.
"From me?" He looked shocked.
"No, not from you, Mulder," I chuckled. "It's more societal, I guess. People wonder why a woman would choose to stay at home to *just* look after the kids, when she could be out doing something more productive."
"If it matters to you, Scully, I think that staying home with the kids can be very productive, as long as it's what you want to do. For a long time women felt pressured to stay at home when it wasn't what they wanted to do and that's not a healthy environment for children."
"Of course it matters to me what you think, Mulder. We have to discuss this kind of thing now--make decisions together," I reminded him. "So, we agree on this then?"
"I want you to do what you feel is right. And I'll kick anyone's ass who questions your decision."
"Now that we're married are you officially my knight in shining armor?" I laughed.
"Officially, yes, but I always thought I was anyway," he admitted sheepishly.
"I never noticed," I rolled my eyes.
I got up from the table and began to rummage through the fridge looking for the roast beef that we'd bought on Friday.
"Sunday roast beef dinner," I smiled when I pulled it out.
"Isn't that a lot of work?" he asked.
"Not really," I shrugged.
"I was just wondering because I thought that we could take the kids to the park when they wake up," he informed me.
"We'll still have time to do that. The roast will be fine," I told him as I as turned the oven on to preheat. "I'll just get the vegetables ready to go and then start them when we get back."
"What can I do to help," he asked getting up from the table.
"You could peel the potatoes," I suggested.
While Mulder and I got everything ready we continued to chat. He told me that he would drop off Frohike's consolation prize tomorrow after he picked up his TV. I was surprised that Mulder was giving up his collection so soon. I hadn't expected him to turn it over until after we had full custody. But he had promised. It made me wonder how Mulder planned to get rid of his sexual energy. After last night, maybe he thought that things were changing between us. I know that I hoped they were. When I tuned back into the conversation Mulder was telling me about the park that he had discovered when he was out for his run.
Once again, after Megan and Jordan woke up, the remainder of the day flew past. By the time they were in bed for the night, I was happy to collapse onto the couch. Mulder decided not to go for a run, opting to just sit and watch TV instead. There wasn't much of interest to watch on Sunday night and Mulder ended up stopping on a program about the occult. This time it was my turn to fall asleep on the couch. I was so exhausted that I didn't wake up until Mulder laid me on the bed.
"You fell asleep," Mulder said when I blinked at him in confusion.
I was so groggy that I skipped most of my bedtime routine so that I could crawl into bed. Mulder had barely flicked the light off when a piercing cry jolted me completely awake.
"Jordan," Mulder and I said in unison.
We both went to his room. He was sitting up in his bed, shaking like a leaf.
"Did you have a bad dream?" I asked, remembering our earlier conversation.
"Yes," he whimpered.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Mulder asked him.
"No," he shook his head. "Can I sleep with you?"
"Of course," I smiled.
Mulder carried him back to our bed. It didn't take long for him to settle and soon he had fallen back to sleep. I, however, was wide awake. I couldn't help thinking about what Jordan and I talked about earlier. I knew that it must have contributed to his nightmare. Part of me realized that dreams were a natural way of dealing with trauma, but most of me was wracked with guilt from the knowledge that I had brought this on.
Eventually I drifted back to sleep. When I got up with Megan, Jordan was still sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed. After I fed Megan and came back to the bedroom, I was startled to find that Jordan was gone. But before I could ask, Mulder told me.
"I took Jordan back to his own bed. We shouldn't let him get used to sleeping with us."
"You're right," I agreed. "Do you think he'll be confused when he wakes up in the morning?"
"I don't think so. My parents always moved me back. Didn't yours?"
"I always crawled in with Missy," I told him.
"Don't worry, Scully, I'm sure he'll be fine," Mulder tried to reassure me.
I nodded and slipped back into bed. Mulder spooned up to me immediately. "If he wakes up again, he can come back. Okay?" he whispered in my ear. "If he gets used to sleeping with us, we'll have a hard time breaking him of it."
"I know, Mulder," I sighed. "It's just that I think that I brought this on by what I said to him this morning."
"You probably did, but I don't think that it's a bad thing. I think it would've done more harm than good to leave him in the dark."
My eyes burned with tears and I couldn't stop them from spilling onto my pillow. Mulder must have known that I was crying because he turned me towards him and pulled me into a tight hug.
"I honestly think that you did the right thing, Scully. Sometimes what's best isn't always what's easy," he tried to calm me.
Continuing to hold me tightly, he began to place feathery kisses on my face. I slowly began to relax.
"What if the judge ends up giving him to the Barnes after we've managed to help him deal with all of this -- after he's become dependent on us?" I asked, my voice still shaky.
"That's why we have to do whatever it takes, Scully."
"I don't know what I'll do if we lose them, Mulder. I love them so much already."
"I knew that you would give your heart to these kids, Scully, and I think that as long as we are in this together, everything will be fine."
"Together," I nodded against his shoulder. I fell asleep snuggled in Mulder's arms and woke the same way.
We were already into a bit of a routine, with me showering first and Mulder showering while I dried my hair. Before I was done, he was at his sink, shaving.
I heard Megan before I went downstairs, so I took her with me. Jordan showed up in the kitchen shortly after us, and Mulder was right, he asked no questions about the previous night. Mulder appeared next, in a shirt and tie.
"Are you going to work?" Jordan asked.
"Just for a little while," Mulder smiled at him.
"But Dana will stay here with us?" he glanced at me, looking a little worried.
"Yes, I'm staying here, Jordan," I assured him. "I thought that after breakfast we could go for a walk and you could show me the neighborhood."
"Okay," he agreed with a smile. "Could we go to the park again?"
"I think that's a good idea," I smiled.
I was feeding Megan her applesauce and cereal when Mulder announced that it was time to kiss his girls. He planted a big kiss on me and then on Megan. Next he turned to Jordan.
"Can I kiss you, too?"
"I'm not a girl," Jordan pulled a face.
"Can I kiss you anyway?" Mulder laughed.
"Okay," Jordan consented with a roll of his eyes.
"I should get going, Scully. Skinner wanted to do this first thing--he's in meetings all day. I should be back around noon, but I'll call you and let you know for sure," Mulder told me when he straightened up from kissing Jordan.
"You haven't had any breakfast," I protested. "At least take some toast and I'll give you some coffee in a travel mug." I got up and collected everything for him quickly.
After I handed it all to him, he leaned over and kissed me again. "Thanks, Scully," he said softly and I felt my cheeks flushing. "I'll call you later."
After we'd finished breakfast and I'd dressed the kids, I packed what I needed in a diaper bag and we headed out. At the park Megan was content briefly in the swings, but she soon began to droop. Jordan played on the jungle gym while I fed her a bottle. I'd just settled her in the stroller, sound asleep, when my cell phone rang.
"Hi, it's me," Mulder said when I answered.
"How's it going?" I asked, keeping my eye on Jordan. The bright red t-shirt I'd dressed him in made him easier to keep track of.
"I've finished at work, and I'm on my way to my apartment," he told me. "I just called to tell you that I'm going to be later than I thought. My lawyer just called and he wants to meet with me."
"What about?" I asked in concern.
"Something about the custody hearing," he informed me. "But he assured me that it wasn't bad news, just something that we needed to discuss in person."
"Oh, okay," I heaved a sigh of relief.
"I should be home around 1:30," he promised.
I was going to be on pins and needles until he got home. I knew that he'd said nothing was wrong, but I couldn't stop myself from worrying.
We left the park at 11 so that I could make lunch. All the way home and all through lunch my mind was racing. I couldn't stop thinking about what might be wrong. I made myself some lunch, but I didn't eat more than a couple of bites.
After the kids went down for their naps, I paced until I heard Mulder's car pull into the driveway. He walked into the house looking paler than the day he'd asked me to marry him.
"What is it, Mulder? What did your lawyer say?" The look on his face had me scared.
"Let's sit down, Scully," he said, ushering me towards the couch by putting his hand on the small of my back.
When we sat down, Mulder immediately looked at his hands. I knew that meant he was afraid to tell me.
"Whatever it is, Mulder, it'll be better if you just come out with it," I urged him.
He took a deep breath. "The Barnes have already informed the court that they are contesting our custody, saying that we have a marriage of convenience."
"So we'll say it isn't." It sounded perfectly reasonable to me.
"Scully, I was told to expect some *very* personal questions from the social worker."
My heart started to flutter immediately. "What are we going to do, Mulder?"
"As I see it, Scully, we have three choices," he said quietly.
I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.
"We can call it off; annul the marriage," he began.
"No," I said flatly, "I will not give up."
"We could lie to the social worker," he went on.
"You know how I feel about lying, Mulder."
"There's only one other thing I can think of," he looked at his hands again.
"What, Mulder? There has to be a better option."
Clearing his throat, he shifted uncomfortably on the couch.
"What are you afraid to say, Mulder," I prompted him. "Just tell me."
"We could consummate the marriage." The words spilled out of his mouth quickly.
I didn't know what to say. My heart was pounding. Consummate the marriage? Have sex with Mulder? He was right though, I couldn't think of another way either.
"Okay," I nodded.
"Okay?" He sounded amazed.
"I can't think of anything else that we can do. I can't quit now and I won't lie," I reminded him.
"It's the only thing I could come up with, Scully."
The rest of the afternoon was tense. Mulder and I barely spoke. I was so nervous that the smallest sound made me jump. While I was getting ready to make supper Mulder came into the kitchen, turned off the water that I was running, took me by the shoulders and turned me towards him.
"Look what this is doing to us, Scully. I think we should call it off. I don't want you to feel pressured into doing something that you're uncomfortable with," he told me softly.
"I am a little nervous, Mulder, but I think we have to do this," I told him.
"As long as you're sure, Scully."
"I'm very sure, Mulder. But if it's making you uncomfortable--"
"Scully," he interrupted me, pulling me close, "I want to make this work as much as you do. I just want you to be okay with it."
"I trust you, Mulder. I know that everything will be okay," I said, laying my head against his chest. His arms tightened around me and he pressed a kiss against my hair.
"I promise that I will make everything okay."
After the kids had been in bed for a while, I told Mulder that I was going upstairs. He got up to follow me.
"Give me a few minutes, okay?" I asked.
"Sure," he smiled anxiously.
Once upstairs I brushed my teeth and pulled on a nightie that I rarely wore. I stared at myself in the mirror for a minute or so. I looked pale and my eyes were wide and still. As I was pulling back the covers Mulder came into the room and smiled at me, looking as shaky as I felt.
I slid into bed and closed my eyes. When I felt the bed dip, I opened them again.
"Do you want me to turn off the light?" he asked quietly.
"No, it's fine, Mulder," I tried to smile at him.
He drew a deep breath. "I want you to know before we go any further that I do love you, Scully. I don't want you to ever question that."
"I know," I whispered.
Lying next to me on his side, he reached out to caress my cheek. As he did, I felt his erection press into my hip. And I'd been worried that he might need some coaxing.
"Are you ready?" he asked softly.
I couldn't help giggling.
"What?" he sounded confused.
"I just feel like a teenager who has planned her first time," I admitted.
"I'm sorry that it's awkward," he apologized.
"It's okay. C'mere," I urged him to move between my legs.
When he was positioned above me with the head of his cock pressed against me, he gazed at me with such tenderness and concern that I fell in love with him all over again.
Before he began to ease his way inside of me, he kissed me softly and told me again that he loved me. I wanted so much to tell him that I loved him too; that I loved him with my heart and soul; that I loved him with every inch of my being, but I couldn't. I was afraid of upsetting the delicate balance of our relationship.
I'd pulled my knees back to allow him easier access, but when he began to enter me, I gasped.
"Did I hurt you?" He stopped immediately.
"Not at all," I promised him. "It's been awhile and well, I've never been with anyone that's as big as you." I wasn't about to tell him that I'd gasped from sheer ecstasy.
"I'll stop if I'm hurting you."
"I'll be fine, Mulder. The female vagina is designed to accommodate a baby's head, so unless your penis is bigger than--"
"Scully!" he complained.
"Too clinical?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the mood," I laughed.
Mulder chuckled with me and then bent to kiss me again. "I'll take it slowly, okay?"
"Okay," I smiled.
He was incredibly gentle. The long slow strokes he took felt heavenly. I kept my eyes closed so that he couldn't see my eyes rolling back in my head. His face was pressed against my cheek and neck. The roughness of his day's growth of beard, the scent of his skin, and the softness his hair only added to the sensory overload I was already experiencing. I wished that I hadn't worn anything to bed because I longed to feel all of his skin next to mine. Every part of me that *was* touching him felt like it had been thoroughly satiated after a long hunger.
"You feel so good, Scully," he breathed in my ear.
I let my hands wander over his back, caressing him gently. I wanted to tell him that I loved the way he filled me; that his breath on my neck made me shiver; that with every thrust I felt an incredible surge in my belly. I wanted to tell him that I'd never felt anything so absolutely perfect before in my life. But I was sure that if I did it would scare him.
"It does feel good, Mulder," I said softly.
At my words he quickened his pace, taking shorter, harder strokes. It felt incredible. Suddenly I became aware of a familiar tingling sensation; I was going to come. My internal muscles tightened, Mulder groaned in response and began to thrust even harder. My orgasm broke over me in a wave of electrically charged heat and I had to bite my lip to keep from calling out. Mulder was coming too, his body shuddering above mine, my name once again on his lips.
I continued to caress his back, enjoying the feeling of his muscled frame and the contour of his waist. I had to will my hands not to slip lower to savor the curve of his ass.
"I wasn't too rough, was I?" he asked when he opened his eyes.
"Not at all, you were very gentle. It felt quite nice actually."
He laughed and kissed me again. "I'm not usually aiming for nice, but in our case, I guess that means it went well."
"I thought it went well," I told him.
"Well, I thought it was better than nice," he said softly after he'd rolled off of me and adjusted our position so that we were spooning. "Wonderful, in my opinion."
I didn't know what to say. I thought that it had been more than wonderful. I'd been holding back and still had a tremendous orgasm, but I couldn't tell him that. He seemed to have no problem being open about the fact that he'd enjoyed it, but I didn't let his words go to my head. Men often enjoyed sex without the benefit of love. It wasn't something that I could do; I needed to be in love to properly enjoy sex, but I couldn't tell him that.
Soon Mulder's breathing pattern let me know that he'd fallen asleep. My entire body felt like it was glowing, but I felt strangely empty too, already missing having him inside of me. I wanted desperately to feel that again and I prayed that he would want to do this again soon. I felt like I'd been led to a vast pool of cool water, but I'd only been allowed a single sip and I was *very* thirsty. If Mulder truly enjoyed the sex as much as he said he did, maybe I'd be lucky enough to be allowed to drink to my fill. But I also knew that unless he grew to love me the way that I wanted him to, my thirst would never be quenched.
All that I could do was pray that someday he would discover that his feelings for me had changed. I hoped that it wouldn't take too long, but if seven years of working with Mulder had taught me anything, it was patience.
His arm was still wrapped snuggly around my waist and he was breathing softly in my ear. He was now truly my husband; we had consummated our marriage.
Mulder was still clutching me tightly when I woke at 2 a.m. to feed Megan. He pulled me back twice before I managed to make him understand that I had to go. When I got back to the bedroom, Mulder had rolled to his back and was snoring lightly. I think that I had fallen back to sleep before I even lay down again.
| Read Part 3 |